I commented on someones facebook or blog or maybe I dreamed about it, that I am so very glad that all the fa la la is over. This has been the first holiday season in decades when I did not have enthusiasm for anything or put up 3 trees in the house, decorate the outside of the house with all manner of winter paraphernalia, bake everything chocolate ever invented and made the Mexican Christmas of my childhood. In my other lifetimes, I was a dyed in the wool, holidayaholic. In recent months, I have lost the fa in my la la. I have the need to find that old Linda who loved to love life. The one who played truth or dare with reality, the one who had a lust for all things fun and light, the one who went to bed tired from doing....not tired of doing.
This old lady who is living inside of my heart right now needs to find new digs. She is a drag.
I am not complaining per se but rather stating my position at the moment. And I know there are so many of you lovelies who know exactly "of what I speak".
I will begin my purge of bad juju in my heart and mind this week. The moon growing to fullness will aid me in my attaining a better perspective, as will the turning of the wheel and more sunshine. I normally love this time of year when you complete the nesting and get ready for the spring. Albeit forced, like the paper whites that should have been placed in my refrigerator to bloom by this week, but that just one of the things that didn't get done because I lost myself, I will put on a happy face and make do....get over it.....get on with it.....cut the crap.
Last year my word was meld, year before it was opportunity....right now "hang on tight" seems to be a good motto for the upcoming year.....we'll see how much attitude adjustment I can muster.
In the meantime, hey ya'll, here comes a new calendar year. Personally, I'm still stuck at about half past July but I guess that ain't gonna cut it as an excuse for stuff now, huh?
I know, I know, "buck up, little buckeroo". And as my Momma used to say, "don't be ugly Linda...nobody takes ugly out dancing".
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Greetings Linda...I know of where you come...life can be a bear at times and it puts a drag on a person...it'll change as life changes...just duck your head and keep on going...Hope you had a wonderful day...Watch the moon grow fuller...
ReplyDeleteI know quite well what you mean. But it sure sounds like your Momma had good (and smile-worthy) advice. I shall keep it in mind. I hope 2012 starts out better for you.
ReplyDeleteLinda, hoping you feel better soon, a new year coming, a new start. hugs to you, wishing you renewed zest for life. think of you often.
ReplyDeleteYeah. I completely get it. Although I did get into the holiday spirit, being in a new place and all, for the last few days I have felt the air escaping from my balloon. I am with you in your decision to evict the old lady - I must do that too. She is a drag, and just like an old person, she just can't seem to live in the present, let alone in the moment. I'm getting pretty sick of her crap. She's outa here. Once we loose these deadbeats, we'll both go out dancing.
ReplyDeleteFirst--love your Mom-isms!
ReplyDeleteSecond, can SO relate about the holidays--I was queen of the perfect Christmas. Not so much since my mother died. But today we're moving to a state park campground, much more back to nature, and I hope the sight of a lot of stars and some desert sunsets help bring back some of the light into my life. I too miss it.
Oh I get it. It all seems so phoney to me. if people really felt the way they say they feel during 'the season' they'd be loving, generous, helpful, and giving of themselves all year long.
ReplyDeleteDamn, I knew there was a reason no-one took me out dancing ;o) Well, to be honest, I haven't really felt it in years, but one goes through the motions for the sake of everyone around. Maybe I'd better be bucking my ideas up this year too!
ReplyDeleteI do know where you are coming from. You have to recall that you have been on a difficult journey with your family, but it's just another detour off the road. You'll find your good juju again. Sometimes it just takes running around the mountain a few times first.
ReplyDeleteI can so relate. I have spent this year's holiday in a bit of disenchanted funk. The feelings I've been living with have a lot to do with getting old and not having the big noisy Christmas like the ones when the kids and grands were small and made the day such an exciting and happy occasion. It was a dull, dreary and rather small group who gathered here this year to eat the Christmas dinner I'd prepared and then sit around the TV to watch football and drink egg nog. No shrieks of delight. No jumping up and down and running around the room. It may as well have been a day spent in a nursing home. I need to change my tune or find another wave to ride or a different beat to march to otherwise I'm going to have to change the name of my blog. I think we need to start a support group where we give each other a kick in the pants whenever it's needed. I also need to adopt a couple of kids for next years festivities.
ReplyDeleteFor what its worth my mother would say,"Have a nice bath, get dressed up and you will feel much better."
ReplyDeleteSometimes it works sometimes the addition of chocolate helps it along.
Have a better day.
Always, Queenie
Must be something in the air because I found myself less enthused about the holidays too. I think it's the fact I planned very badly and did all the baking the week of Christmas; note to self, "Self, don't be a big "pendeja" and bake your ass off just days before Christmas Eve...you moron!" I'm so tired I can't sleep...the head won't shut up at night...must be because it's pissed off I over-worked it last week, so now I'm getting that mean ol' payback!!
ReplyDeleteGoing to veg today and do some stuff in the studio...have some commitments and orders to keep me busy for a while and out of trouble...well, busy anyway.
Yea, move the bad mojo out and get going on the new stuff...the good stuff...you're not alone, my friend...we'll all be there with ya.
Loves ya,
G
Oh honey, I know of where you come. And I say to that, "world, YOU just deal with ME for awhile." I think we deserve to be, just be, until we have taken ample time to revive that part of ourselves that lives out loud. But in the meantime...lets be good to us. Hugs my lovely friend.
ReplyDeleteThis has been a totally odd year for me, too Oma Linda. It's been strange because I usually am singing songs of the season, putting up the decorations and getting things into tip top holiday condition as soon as Samhain has wrapped up. This year I found it difficult to even have enough energy to wrap presents and I can't figure out why. For some reason I have been super down. I'm doing better now... but wow, talk about zapped for enthusiasm.
ReplyDeleteI hope you will give yourself the love and time you need to get through this gloomy time and I also hope you find abundant energy to fill you and bring you to that love of life you know in your heart to exist.
Brightest blessings my dear friend,
Bird
I remember when the holidays used to mean barefoot dancing, cooking outside, and listening to my grandma to tell stories as we all drank red wine... this holiday season wasn't bad, but the my la la has been missing the fa for a while, too. Maybe we can take each other out dancing and be pretty together ;-)
ReplyDelete