I commented on someones facebook or blog or maybe I dreamed about it, that I am so very glad that all the fa la la is over. This has been the first holiday season in decades when I did not have enthusiasm for anything or put up 3 trees in the house, decorate the outside of the house with all manner of winter paraphernalia, bake everything chocolate ever invented and made the Mexican Christmas of my childhood. In my other lifetimes, I was a dyed in the wool, holidayaholic. In recent months, I have lost the fa in my la la. I have the need to find that old Linda who loved to love life. The one who played truth or dare with reality, the one who had a lust for all things fun and light, the one who went to bed tired from doing....not tired of doing.
This old lady who is living inside of my heart right now needs to find new digs. She is a drag.
I am not complaining per se but rather stating my position at the moment. And I know there are so many of you lovelies who know exactly "of what I speak".
I will begin my purge of bad juju in my heart and mind this week. The moon growing to fullness will aid me in my attaining a better perspective, as will the turning of the wheel and more sunshine. I normally love this time of year when you complete the nesting and get ready for the spring. Albeit forced, like the paper whites that should have been placed in my refrigerator to bloom by this week, but that just one of the things that didn't get done because I lost myself, I will put on a happy face and make do....get over it.....get on with it.....cut the crap.
Last year my word was meld, year before it was opportunity....right now "hang on tight" seems to be a good motto for the upcoming year.....we'll see how much attitude adjustment I can muster.
In the meantime, hey ya'll, here comes a new calendar year. Personally, I'm still stuck at about half past July but I guess that ain't gonna cut it as an excuse for stuff now, huh?
I know, I know, "buck up, little buckeroo". And as my Momma used to say, "don't be ugly Linda...nobody takes ugly out dancing".