a question and answer forum.....for the time being. All things change and become something else if there is growth even Olde Baggs.

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

An note on broken hearts

I wish to thank all of you for sharing your thoughts about mending a broken heart.

Like so many who said, time will heal, I agree. And like some, I too have been the doer of the breaking. And I am sure you are curious as to the why of the question.

As I told you I was looking on a facebook page about Remember When in Albuquerque when I saw a comment by someone who broke my heart as a young person. It was quite a jolt to see that name and read those words. It's been almost 45 years and I still had a pang.

This young man asked me to a dance. Funny thing was it was girl's ask boy dance, you remember Sadie Hawkins dances? I know he asked me because he knew I wanted to go but was afraid to ask him. We walked to school, attended the dance and had a good time. I, in my naïve and young heart expected that we would be better friends after the dance, but he wouldn't talk to me afterwards. I asked him why and he said he had met someone "better" at the dance and didn't want to be friends. I never spoke to him again. I was crushed by a crush.

I avoided him like I had done something wrong. For me it was so painful to see him. He only lived a few houses away and we walked home from school everyday. I took it upon myself to walk way out of the way and found a different route home so that I wouldn't have to "bump" into him. Of course now I know how silly that was and how I should have let it just be, but at the time (14) I was too green to know how to play the "I don't really give a big one game". Youth, in matters of the heart is not wasted on the young, it is inflicted.

Most folks have experienced being brokenhearted in relationship love, some crushed, some bruised, some scarred, some hold it in forever. Sometimes the pain of it is what makes or breaks them, hardens them, makes them turn away from trusting. And then for the majority, it makes them appreciate when all the pieces fall together and you get a goodie and it lasts.

SM and I celebrated the start to our 43rd year together as a couple. And yes we have battled our way to this point. It was worth every scrimmage and tussle we have ever had. But I kissed many a frog before my frog prince swept me off of my lily pad. He says he never loved anyone before me but the man lies. He's a keeper but he does tell a tale.

Another reason for the question is GK's age. She has had a couple of crushes and had a few paramours hopes be dashed. At present she has a serious crush on a young man who is more than a little "emo" and I thought it might be a good idea to get some other saged advice from all of you before the inevitable happens. It might mean nothing to her, then again, it might mean a lot, time will tell, yes? And any other adult is much smarter than the ones she is living with anyway. tee hee.

Happy Thanksgiving. When I count my blessings, please know I count every single one of you and some of you twice.

Smooches and Squoozes, Oma Linda

9 comments:

  1. Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours. I had a similar experience only it wasn't on Facebook and he didn't break my heart by walking out on me. He broke my heart by dying in a car accident and rumor was that he deliberately drove off the road. I find it easier to believe that it was an accident. Well, one day while doing my genealogy, I was looking for something on Find a Grave and instead found a picture of his grave. It was over 40 years ago, but I locked my office door and bawled my eyes out.

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    1. Oh Mary....you choked me up so badly that I too just cried. Sometimes the pain never leaves.

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  2. Believe me, if I had any relationship advice I'd share it with my unmarried 33 year old son, who so far has done precious little to provide us with grandchildren.

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    1. 33 is still young. Maybe it is better that he has waited to find Ms. Right instead of Ms. Right Now to settle down with and make you Grandpa Chatterbox.

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  3. Best thing you can do for her if he hurts her is hugs...long hugs...

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    1. Judy my friend, I think that is the best medicine for all icky situations in life. Thanks

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  4. Alas, I could think of no advice! There's probably a reason I'm still single too lol

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    1. Oh dear Katy, sometimes having no advice is such a blessing. It might also mean that you have not had the curse of that ugly in your life. I will hope that you never have the pain of a broken heart.

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  5. Happy Thanksgiving Oma Linda ;o) My advice, tell her, it's not her fault! So many times, when a break up happens, you blame yourself. You feel, you have to change in someway, or you weren't good enough. Deal with your pain, put your head up high and go on with life! Always get your pain out too! Don't keep it in!! Keep the love flowing in the family, so she knows she can come to you for comfort ;o)
    Happy 43 years! If I ever find a guy, I hopefully will make it to 3 years! LOL! xoxoxo

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You are always welcome to comment on my thoughts and I love them all......