From time to time I have let my "real" feelings be known at this particular venue. And tonight is going to be one of those times.
I have, as you all know, been married to the same man for much more than half my life. Almost 40 years truth be told. And in all that time, I have never really understood him. I love him, I have fun with him, I treasure the fact that he has put up with my shenanigans for all these years, but I don't understand him.
He sees life through testosterone colored glasses. Emotions, pain, reality and life are all viewed as separate and not equal portions of his pie. In his realm the phrase, "I just want you to be happy" is frequently offered as solise to my bruised or petulant feelings. He gets round to it, pretty much when I make a big deal out of something and not one day off sooner. I have only seen him really, really mad 8 times in all these years. The rest of the time he pretty much is in neutral.
I, on the other hand probably have 8 fits a day and haven't seen neutral in ions. I worry for him and his lack of venting. Oh he talks about disturbances in the "force" but never really says how he feels about it. And conversely, I don't have a govenor on my mouth when it comes to how I feel.
But I almost peed my pants this morning when the man formerly known as Sweet Man, now named Mister Oblivious, with a perfectly straight and honest face says to me, "hey babe, who is Kate Middleton? I know I should know the name but I just can't place it." At first I thought he was being his snarky self, then I thought there would be a punch line, and then I was seriously scared. Did he really not know the Bride to be this weekend? Has he not been awake in the past, oh I don't know, 3 months at least?
And then I started laughing, at which point he was a little upset with me. He had asked a question and I was blowing him off with laughter. When I did tell him who she was, he paused and said, "OMG, I knew I knew her from somewhere." Then I really lost it.
But as the day has progressed, I'm not so sure it's funny. He is grumpy, moody, preoccupied and surly. That's not Mister Oblivious, it's not Sweet Man. I don't know who this is but he's scaring me a little.