Who am I?

Today I feel a little like Alice addressing the Caterpillar (or capapitter as GK used to say). You know the scene where the houka smoking Caterpillar is saying "Who are Youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu?"

Today I would answer I am: my own worst friend and my very best enemy.

I have always envied others who know who they are and how they will behave in any given situation....give or take, more or less, in the ballpark. I never really have a true vision of how I will do anything. I have, since I discovered my inability to hold fast and true emotionally, should have wings sewn or at least embroidered on the seat of my pants.

And of all the lovely emotions we are designed for, anger is the one that just blows me out of the water....although the older I get the more confusion is having a race with anger in that department. I should probably restate it by saying when I am frustrated, I do not play well with others.

Most of you followers of at least a year or so know that my life changes on a dime. Bill Cosby said it best, when he remarked that kids grow up, leave home and then come back again and bring other people with them. Yep. And if you are one of the fortunate ones, you learn to like the people they bring. If not then you know what it's like to walk in my moccasins. Now I am speaking of big people, not the grand kind of people. They are grand after all and that goes without saying.

But the grands do bring their own set of circumstances and sometimes life is on the side stage laughing her butt off when you get a grand like my precious boy with special circumstances. Or one like Gerea Kaye, who you know full well has been in charge in this life and many before this one (she was at the very least Drill Instructor (hi Magaly) or Napoleon's mother). Both of my grands are sweet, kind, giving, loving, talented, good kids and at night when I go to bed I am glad I get 6 hours without them. That way I won't feel like eating them the next morning, after all they are just kids.

In the last 19 months, we have changed dynamics in this house and become an extended 3 generation family with what I might brag about as no prisoners or fatalities. Except for maybe bits of my sanity.

When my daughter Shelley was a child, Sweet Man and I had to "attend" family gatherings. Actually they were more like command performances with my Mother and Mother in law. Split our lives 9 different ways to dance to the drum of "family". It was a very a unpleasant situation each time. So I told Shelley that I never really wanted it to be like that for her and her family some day. I didn't care about being with her on any "holiday" except her birthday. It was only she and I, sans doctors, nurses, father, when she was born and I wanted us to share that for as long as we have together on earth. But in the case of any other holiday, she wouldn't have to split herself and her kids in two different ways for holidays. It would be totatlly up to her.

So there you have it. It's my fault....I forgot to say.....and by the way there should be days when I don't see you too. Only kidding......most days.

I believe our success at this extended family thing is because we all like each other and are willing to do what it takes to make it work. The only real frustration and anger inducers come from without the walls of this sanctuary and we manage those with help and protection.

I'm just a grumpy old bubby today with an attitude and that too will pass..................it better, soon.

BTW, all together between this blog and Olde Baggs n Stuft Shirts, I have blogged 675 times. I'm having a What is it?, giveaway at OBNSS. Go see if you can tell What it is?