I discovered something recently. I cannot, within the boundaries of the law of society or kharma, fix everything that is hurtful or just wrong. I thought I was a powerful, strong minded, capable adult human female who could withstand just about anything that normal living conditions throw at you...no, I know I am that. I love my family, I am relatively social except for the few instances of scaring naughty neighbor kids and old whiney men in line at Walmart. I have a sadistic streak when it comes to peole who role over and play underdog in an argument and I hate, yes I used the h word my soon to be ex son in law. You all know him under the assumed name of Paper bag boy.
My empathic tendencies have opened up, filled me up by swallowing everyone else pain and loss lately and I am left with a crap load of heavy lifting and it isn't even all my own. I have taken on negativity from many sources. Some out of love and concern for friends, some from the hellacious events in the world and then some because of this hate I have for this loser sub human who continues to jack with my grandkids and daughter. The above was the very first monies he sent to them in the 19 months they have been here and it BOUNCED. Nice work PBB.
I am not beat down by this dead beat. In fact after a wonderful letter from a caring and loving friend (Hi Cee), I now realize, I am okay and will not waste one more moments tears on my girl. She too is a strong, kick the loser to the curb kinda girl and the PBB has flown his flag long enough in front of his children's eyes that they too know what a loser and liar he is. We will all get along quite nicely.
So this is what I said before my attitude adjustment: I need an intervention, or hit man. If you think you can help....call 1800dumbshit. ooops I'm sorry that's his number. Dial I want him gone.
What I say now is: Darren who?
Thank you Cee for pointing out what a crustie olde bagg I am and how I can do what needs to be done. And I am going to take you up on your offer of magickal help.
Oh honey, I'm so sorry this is going on with your family and that piece of shit douchebag. May he get exactly what is coming to him served up on a nice platter of dogshit.
ReplyDeleteSometimes all it takes is some sage advice or a kick in the rear from our beloved old Mountain Elf to put things in perspective. She's a peach, despite pretending to have a rotten spot.
ReplyDeleteI know from the very short time I've had the delight of knowing Shelley that she's got the courage, strength and love of herself and her children to find her way out of this dark place and begin a brand new happier era. It will be your love of her and the grandest of grands that helps them, more then the hate for the deadbeat.
Mucho amor to my favorite nest of cuckoos!
P.S. I know what you mean about the empathy being a bit too much at the moment. I've opted, for a small while anyway, to tune out the sadness & darkness of the news and focus my heart on friends and family where I know I
can make an immediate difference.
PBB needs to grow the eff up! I hate men like him and he gives them such a bad name! I feel your pain and understand your crustiness my friend. I often wonder why we fall for who we fall for and Shelley and the kids are so lucky to have you!
ReplyDeleteStay strong my dear, candle being lit for you and your sanity!
Love and light
Sherry
I'm in the same place you are, sickened, disheartened and yes, depressed even though our circumstances are different. We have tender and sensitive hearts and psyches, Linda and the best we can do sometimes is just breathe deeply, have compassion for ourselves and surround ourselves with loved ones who add to our lives instead of detract from them. Know that I'm sending you lots of blessings and love.
ReplyDelete:| I don't think there's any kind of anger a strong woman has a hard time getting beyond than the anger at those harming our children and grandchildren...esp when that person is someone who ought to be loving them too. I know you'll get a grip on it and put it to work for you, and I feel for you on the empathy issues. Make sure you're looking out for yourself.. let it pass through you, not roost within, right?
ReplyDeletekarma will get him...forget him...focus on the positive things in your family. Hate only damages you and yours. Pretend that he does not exist...give him no juice at all. Trust karma.....
ReplyDeleteIt is an an act of compassion to absorb some of the negativity your loved ones are suffering, to lighten their load but you don't have to hold on to it. pull it off them, suck it in and then blow it out. like in the 'green mile'.
ReplyDeleteOh dear God, I pity people like this. There is so much unsaid in an action like this. And I know what you mean because I tend to absorb the negativity too - case in point, these idiots who live next to me. I am so tired of giving my power up to HER, full well knowing she loves to terrorize me because she is a bully. I know it's not the same, but in ways it is the same if you know what I mean. It's the little deliberate annoyances & underlying messages that they love to use because they are cowards. Bless you.
ReplyDeleteJust Hugs for you is all I have to add.
ReplyDeletei found your blog through audrey and, although this post is so sad, you have a sense of humor to tell the story that really drew me in. Can't wait to read more.
ReplyDelete