Day 26. Have you ever thought about giving up on life?
Yes, very briefly. There were some very dark thoughts and days in my life as I am sure that many others have known but there was always the thought of an uncle of mine in Tennessee.
He had millions, a very loving family, tons of friends from all stages of his life, a rewarding life lived, having survived Pearl Harbor, made his fortunes from 4 separate start up businesses that flourished and was well respected and loved.....but he was narrow of focus when it came to thinking about having to depend on others to take care of him in his later years and so he went to the cemetery to his daughters grave and shot himself. I always thought what he did as an incredibly selfish act perpetrated on the people who loved him.
It has always held my attention to the now and how precious life truly is. I'm sure he had his demons, but suicide is a permanent answer to a temporary dilemna. I can honestly say I embrace every day as a gift. Somedays come tied with a painful ribbon and others are wrapped in the wrong color paper but hey.......much better than the alternative.
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So true and so well said!
ReplyDeleteI'd never have the guts to kill myself, but there were some times, when I was in constant agony, paralyzed (literally) in a wheelchair - that I was questioning my existence - but then, I have a dog and who would take care of my Gizzy if I were not around? PLUS, I don't want to do that to my daughter! NO, definitely not! Thank God I'm not the suicidal type (if there is such a thing) and have been able to maintain a positive attitude even through the toughest times. I now embrace every day since I've had my bi-lateral hip replacements and the pain is gone - every single day is a gift and a blessing beyond belief. While my body is far from perfect (and a lot of it is MY fault) I love being alive! I feel sad for anyone who is that destitute and hopeless to feel that there is no other alternative but to kill themselves. Very, very sad! But, I know that clinical depression and some medications can drive people to doing the unspeakable.
ReplyDeleteGod bless us all and give us strength - and most of all hope!
Suicide in that manner is so devastating for those left behind. End of life, bedridden, in constant pain, ready to let go of a good life and slip away with your loved ones near suicide is understandable. would I be able to do it? Who knows. No one knows until they are standing on the brink.
ReplyDeleteI had an aunt that killed herself when I was a teenager and I loved her very very much, she was my best friend.
ReplyDeleteThe demons in her head were bigger than all of us though.
I have struggled with depression off and on all my life and her suicide has kept me from checking out and besides I am a total coward at this point. And an optimist deep down under the monkey mind.
I also work very hard to stay in touch with my optimist self. It is a full time commitment.
I am starting to understand that if I look for the negitive I will find it and if I look for the positive...shazam!!!
Love and hugs dear one!