a question and answer forum.....for the time being. All things change and become something else if there is growth even Olde Baggs.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Day 1

1. Something you hate about yourself.

I am a passionate person. I am a loud person. I can be a very overbearing, loud person when angry.

As a child, I was the youngest, the only and ignored. That's not an excuse that's the facts. My brother and sister were a whirlwind in the house until I was 6 and then they were both gone and out of the house, then I was an only. My parents fought alot and I learned from listening and cowering. You would have thought I would have learned not to shout but nooooooooooooooooooooooo.

Flash forward to my marrying Sweet Man. He is the oldest of eight, a Libra, calm, direct, gentle and strong. He told me, after he asked me to marry him, that he would never argue with me. Wow, I thought I had it made. Nope, it just means he never argues.....I yell, he just listens. We have tailored this into a fine tuned insanity. He just lets me wax on at a million decibels obnoxiously and he just has selective hearing.

I hate that I yell because I know it scares people. Hell, it scared the grands when they first moved in here because they thought I would stay angry. But it's like a flash in a pan........cherries jubilee of snit......here this moment....flash and then it's gone. And I don't stay mad. As a matter of fact...most of the time while I am being loud....I am also being funny.

The people who love me understand, perfect strangers not so much. But then I don't yell in front of strangers............for the most part. The neighbors have learned to just take it under advisement that Mt. Mouth has just erupted and then all that's left is a big ash. Me.

I've tried self control but nope...I suppose I am just one of those out of self control loud kinda people. My family is only frightened of me when I am quiet. That's when the snit hits the fan. SNIT....that's what I have, snits.

The thing I don't like about myself is my loud angry outbursts.

6 comments:

  1. Oh, the stories our Joes could tell. I have this same issue, I get angry or upset and carry on about it at loud volumes while he nods and lets me run out of steam. Almost always, about half way through, I become self aware of how ridiculous I must sound and look and then end being loud and funny because at that point I can't take myself seriously anymore.

    I'll be jumping on the 30 days of truth bandwagon, probably in November, since one of my Samhain resolutions is self acceptance.

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  2. This is exactly the way I pictured you, my friend. I can't wait to learn more.
    Mary

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  3. Um, I am going to say it again - we were separated at birth, right? And Pooldad and Sweetman are brothers. Really they are.


    I am glad you are doing this - it is a lot of work [thinking/mulling/deciding] but it is also very telling and a little bit of fun, I think.

    Love and hugs ya' Bagg

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  4. I think once I started dumping I'd never quit. I'll just read and enjoy vicariously through you two. Heh.

    word vert: hodsp. It takes a lot of hodsp to spill your guts like this.

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  5. This really sounds like me, and my hubby rarely argues ever, he listens when I have my snits. I am sure people love you just as you are. c

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  6. Oh, this sounds like me too lol One very dear friend, and former colleague, said she was glad when I got mad because 10 minutes and it was all over, we had a couple of fellow team members that brooded and stored things up, which made life much more uncomfortable.

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