1. Something you hate about yourself.
I am a passionate person. I am a loud person. I can be a very overbearing, loud person when angry.
As a child, I was the youngest, the only and ignored. That's not an excuse that's the facts. My brother and sister were a whirlwind in the house until I was 6 and then they were both gone and out of the house, then I was an only. My parents fought alot and I learned from listening and cowering. You would have thought I would have learned not to shout but nooooooooooooooooooooooo.
Flash forward to my marrying Sweet Man. He is the oldest of eight, a Libra, calm, direct, gentle and strong. He told me, after he asked me to marry him, that he would never argue with me. Wow, I thought I had it made. Nope, it just means he never argues.....I yell, he just listens. We have tailored this into a fine tuned insanity. He just lets me wax on at a million decibels obnoxiously and he just has selective hearing.
I hate that I yell because I know it scares people. Hell, it scared the grands when they first moved in here because they thought I would stay angry. But it's like a flash in a pan........cherries jubilee of snit......here this moment....flash and then it's gone. And I don't stay mad. As a matter of fact...most of the time while I am being loud....I am also being funny.
The people who love me understand, perfect strangers not so much. But then I don't yell in front of strangers............for the most part. The neighbors have learned to just take it under advisement that Mt. Mouth has just erupted and then all that's left is a big ash. Me.
I've tried self control but nope...I suppose I am just one of those out of self control loud kinda people. My family is only frightened of me when I am quiet. That's when the snit hits the fan. SNIT....that's what I have, snits.
The thing I don't like about myself is my loud angry outbursts.
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Oh, the stories our Joes could tell. I have this same issue, I get angry or upset and carry on about it at loud volumes while he nods and lets me run out of steam. Almost always, about half way through, I become self aware of how ridiculous I must sound and look and then end being loud and funny because at that point I can't take myself seriously anymore.
ReplyDeleteI'll be jumping on the 30 days of truth bandwagon, probably in November, since one of my Samhain resolutions is self acceptance.
This is exactly the way I pictured you, my friend. I can't wait to learn more.
ReplyDeleteMary
Um, I am going to say it again - we were separated at birth, right? And Pooldad and Sweetman are brothers. Really they are.
ReplyDeleteI am glad you are doing this - it is a lot of work [thinking/mulling/deciding] but it is also very telling and a little bit of fun, I think.
Love and hugs ya' Bagg
I think once I started dumping I'd never quit. I'll just read and enjoy vicariously through you two. Heh.
ReplyDeleteword vert: hodsp. It takes a lot of hodsp to spill your guts like this.
This really sounds like me, and my hubby rarely argues ever, he listens when I have my snits. I am sure people love you just as you are. c
ReplyDeleteOh, this sounds like me too lol One very dear friend, and former colleague, said she was glad when I got mad because 10 minutes and it was all over, we had a couple of fellow team members that brooded and stored things up, which made life much more uncomfortable.
ReplyDelete