First, let me take time to thank each of you for setting me straight. I post here to have that happen. If I didn't want some input on my insanity, I would just simply write it in my journal and call it good.
Yes, I will in fact be going with GereaKaye to her counselor and "we" will face the truth that I have stored in my memory of her abuse at the hands of my father. I will be who I have to and need to be so that she can be all she can be. Wow, that sounded like a commercial for the Army.
Maybe I use the word guilt in the wrong way on occasion. I only know that if you put me in a room with say...oh 20 other people and something was to go wrong.....I would be one of the one's who had a twinge of "maybe it is my fault" going on. And probably the only one who would claim responsibility for the wrong. Not asking for a psychological assessment here just telling how I am.
On my other blog I talked about my guilt necklace. I had a counselor one time who wanted me to visualize my "wrongs" and put them on a necklace and then throw the thing away. Okay.....but somehow in my warpness of spirit, I keep finding the damn thing at the thrift store and bringing it home again. Each bead is some stupid, ugly thing that, yes, I should throw away. My husband tells me that I am so creative that I make the beads in the shape of a boomerang and that's why they come back to me. Nah....there are even more sinister reasons...... and I found out why today.
I was reading along this morning in blogotropolis and came across a profound posting on positive and negative posts. The gist, as I got it, was that folks who post about the "bad" stuff want to call attention to themselves and wallow in the negative. Maybe, but the "good" folks who are above posting about said negatives just wanna have fun. No that really isn't fair, it said that we should all try to be positive....DUH, ya think. Let's work it out people.
I bought it. I started feeling guilty about dumping my stuff on all of you. Rethinking how I should have kept the "crap ugly" to myself. How this post was directed at me and others like me who belly ache about shit. Sharing my feelings with SM, he started to impart wisdom to me when he was interrupted by the 9 year old dali lama of Chama who said, "Oh Oma, you're a nice person, don't take it personal, people are always trying to act like they are better than other people. It happens all the time at my school."
Oh hell no, common sense has arrived at my house and it dwells in GK.