I remember in 2nd grade, my teacher Mrs. Stone had an unruly pack of 6 and 7 years old to contend with. Our class was always being "detailed" for too much enthusiasm and noise. But I have a feeling that it was as much her problem as it was ours. It seemed that every time she would lay down the law, we would find a way to thwart her perfect plan to contain our zeal.
As I look back at that "incarceration" time, because we were always in trouble, I have two lessons that I draw from that experience. First is that anyone who is not tolerant of children's behavior ought not to be in charge of steering the classroom. She wanted the old "sit with your hands folded on the top of your desk and listened to every word I say without responding" behavior from us. There seemed to be a disconnect between what is natural in a 2nd grade child and what her dream was of how the .classroom could be run. I believe she was one of the most frustrated people I have ever known.
And the second lesson is what this blog today is really about. When you point your finger at someone else, remember that there are three fingers pointing back at you. I know now some of you are pointing and looking at those three digits coming back in your direction as you point right this minute.
As a kid, the lesson was introduced as a redirection to help kids not say things about someone else without the thought that they might just look at what they were doing before saying anything "ugly" about anyone else. And at the time, it really kinda made sense. For me it stuck and I have used it as a teaching tool many times in my dealings with children and youth.
But as an adult, most especially one who believes in Karma, I have taken this child lesson very seriously. I believe that whatever you send out into the universe, be it a thought, a conversation, a threat, a spell, will come back as like energy to you, threefold. It (usually) keeps me from being too caustic. I will admit there are exceptions to the rule and I have, as you all realize, had difficulty containing my ire when it comes to my family's pain, although I do realize they must endure what is handed to them to be who they are to be.
I chant, "Let it pass through you not dwell within you" or Let it be", more times a week than you could ever imagine. I dance the dance of intentionality and freedom from anger many a time.
I read this morning in Aine of The Deepest Well blog something that made me think of these lessons. I may have to take another look at pointing the finger. I may have to Let it be, in a whole new way.
Her blog really spoke to me, you might want to go and read what she has to tell. I was most especially struck by the paragraph....."But the truth is that life is long and it is hard to varying degrees, not to
mention we come into each lifetime without the memory of the last ones, and so
we basically start all over again - a cleanish slate, exposed only to the people
who will teach us the lessons, and allow us the experiences that make up our
destiny this time. Sometimes these people are not kind. Sometimes they are
hurtful, maybe even dangerous. Sometimes as a result we do things we are sorry
for or ashamed of. We may even find ourselves becoming people we don't want to
be, but we have to remember that the story is long - it is not finished yet, and
so there is no need to feel guilty, no need to point fingers, blame and hold
grudges. These are simply the stories, the tales and they need only to be
told - as is - and hopefully whomever needs to hear them will and will take
from them what they want or need to take."
I have a person who is on the fringe of my life who continues to be hateful, which is that person's burden not mine. I have no part in their skewed reality. I claim no responsibility for their mania and delusions. And I now claim no part in their behavior even when I voice my concern for my family's torment at the hate filled person's hand on my blog. My advice to them would be ................ don't go there.
Saying our piece about whatever the subject is our right. Being able to weather the blow back is our test. Learning from the experience is our reward.