a question and answer forum.....for the time being. All things change and become something else if there is growth even Olde Baggs.

Thursday, January 3, 2013

Can I hear you now???????

I have so many thoughts whizzing around in my head most days that I feel like I'm on overload. I obviously don't think I am the only one because as I look around while out of the house (they do let me out every once in a while, just thought I'd share that warning) I see lots of crazed people. Most of us are in our own world with errands to run, things to get done and other places to be.

Yep, you guessed it, this is gonna be one of those slow down and smell the roses kinda post. I can't put anything past you can I?
As I was hurrying to get my Celebrate OZ, Altered Oz post up on my other blog Olde Baggs 'n Stuft Shirts, I had to run to the copy center to get Dorothy's dress increased in size. I had thought I had her pegged as a size 8.5" x 11" regular but she turned out to be 2 times, 8.5" x 11" sheets of cardstock. Actually because I am a size conscious girl, she is a 1.5 to be precise.
So anyway as I am rushing in the copy center door to get my girl Dorothy dressed in time, there was this folded paper on the ground near the door. It looked like an old letter to someone. I picked it up thinking that it was trash at first. As I was waiting for a machine, I was being nosey and read what was written on the paper. It was a letter dated November 23, 1972. It was from a daughter to a mother. The gist of the letter was that the daughter was sorry that the mother had chosen not to come to her wedding. She was hurt but understood that her mother was not going to change her mind and the daughter wanted to make sure that her mother knew that she forgave her anyway.

As I read the words, I was swept away into this person's pain because I too had a similar history of anger, hurt associated with my wedding and the date on the letter made it eerily close. I ran away and married Sweet Man on November 24, 1972.

I looked around to see if there was anyone my age in the copy shop. No, all were youngers but there was this young man who seemed to be looking for something in his stack of papers. Being who I am, I asked him if he had dropped the letter. He looked directly in my eyes and said yes, thank you. But how did you know? I said I noticed that he was searching for something. He said, you have no idea.

He dropped out of line and we stood at the back of the store. Then he poured out his heart about the loss of his mother. Who, he commented had looked very much like me. He said she passed away last week and he was trying to get things in order. He said he found the letter in an envelope in a shoe box of cards and stuff his Mom had in her closet. The letter had his grandmothers name and address on it but it had never been sent. The significance of the letter was huge for this young man. Forgiveness never delivered, he called it. He had never known his grandmother, never even known where she lived or what her name was. He was making copies for his sister in Michigan because he knew she also would have interest in a past that they had never known. His mother had divorced his father when he was 5 and his sister was 4. They had not seen or heard from him since. Their whole world had been their Mother as their only family. And he was in shock about this information and what it might mean for him, his sister and their spouses and children.

I asked what he was going to do with it? He said probably nothing but it did make him wonder.

I shared with him that I too found things after my own Mother's death that would forever be mysteries to me because she had kept her secrets from her kids. He admitted that he knew that there must be family members out there but that he would feel odd getting in touch with them after all these years. What would he say? I confessed I didn't have the answer. We just sorta stared at each other. He said he felt that meeting me had given him his answer...if he could talk to a perfect stranger in a copy shop about it, that he could talk to a perfect stranger who may have known his Mom.

Who knows what Michael will do with the information. But I am pondering what I need to do with it. The feelings I have, I mean. I can't fix it for him or his sister, but I can send them healing thoughts and consider them as part of my life experience. I can accept that this happened for a reason and wait on the answer. Or I can think, it is what it is.


  1. It's funny you should post this particular post this morning. I've just finished sorting through a pile of cards that I found tucked away in the back of a drawer when I found a birthday card from my mother. She always signed the cards she sent to me with "Love, Mom & Dad". Now that they are both gone I find it comforting to have something that connects me to them even if it's only a piece of paper. It made me think about things that have been put to paper and thoguht about why I felt the need to hold on to cards and letters. Why do you suppose Michael's mother held on to this letter all of this time and why didn't she and her mother never try to get past their differences?
    Now I'm off to your other blog to see about that OZ business.
    Oh, just so you know I've been paying attention I see where "it is what it is" has worked it's way into another post. :0)

  2. What an amazing experience, Linda. Talk about the Universe giving us blessings and challenges right in our face. I don't believe in coincedences but I believe in synchronicity and your story is a perfect example of it. Really impactful and is a great reminder to connect with others when the opportunity presents itself.

  3. oh, so much anger and pain. what a shame, what a loss to everyone. My husband's father disowned him (and by association, me and his grandkids and great grandkids) 15 years ago. He is in his 80s now and very ill and suffering from dementia. he had retired to florida at the time but whenever he came in to visit, we were not invited to the family get togethers (his brothers and sister were always so apologetic to us about it but we really didn't care that much). Whenever it was an extended family event like a wedding, my husband would always make the effort and go up to him and say hi to which his father would reply, I have nothing to say to you and walk away. All the other family members over the years tried to talk him out of it but he was a stubborn mean spirited bastard and personally, I always thought we were better off without him in our lives. Now that he can't really communicate, his wife has died , he is back in Houston living with his youngest son who is ready to put him in a nursing home. anyway, Danny, too late, got it across that he wanted to see Marc. so my husband has been out there a couple of times but really, it's too late. there is no communication possible.

  4. I think you were given an opportunity to be a blessing to someone and you did by taking the time to be compassionately present and actively listen to another human being's story. You done did a very good thing :o)
    Have a great day.
    Always, Queenie

  5. I don't believe it was a coincidence that your path crossed this fellow's. You were sent to help him with his decision. Fate works in mysterious ways.

  6. Oh you were definitely meant to find that letter and help her son. (May I just have a wee giggle at the 'young man' since I'm guessing by the dates he's probably older than me, and I don't think I can count as young any more ;o) )

  7. Fate my be a mean wench, but she never does a thing by accident. I think your heart will tell you (if it hasn't already) what to do with the info. And I trust you will do it well.

  8. Fate my be a mean wench, but she never does a thing by accident. I think your heart will tell you (if it hasn't already) what to do with the info. And I trust you will do it well.

  9. Oh how touching, how beautiful the daughter forgave & still loved & how sad the mother never knew, maybe it was meant to be like that, the daughter could then move on & her mother needed to come to terms with not embracing or at least standing by as support to this lone woman who then raised her two babes single handed after she separated... sad. I think you gave this man Michael one of life's precious gifts, an ear & a kind heart. Lovely xo

  10. What an amazing serendipitous event, Linda. Right down to the dates. Clearly your paths were meant to cross. Forgiveness.. it's a power we all possess. If we're wise, we are not too reluctant to use it.

  11. Oma Linda, I think this is so special! For me, this for sure happened for a reason! I can't believe the dates being so close! You gave comfort to this man! What a very special day!!!


You are always welcome to comment on my thoughts and I love them all......