a question and answer forum.....for the time being. All things change and become something else if there is growth even Olde Baggs.

Thursday, November 29, 2012

Last night's moon...........

Full moon always has a profound effect on me. I know the pull is inside me just like the ocean being pulled by the moon. But last night, I had to take it in, in a different manner.
my energy works photo
We always celebrate the full moon with song and merriment, which we did, some more than others. The grands see it as a way to fun activity. I see it as a way to reconnect with what has gone on during the waxing and plan for the waning. They observe and note the changes around them.They are really good season keepers. If when they are grown, they gain nothing more from "my practices", I hope and it would be my fondest wish that they look back on our shared times of notations. The comings and goings of season, moon and our time together.

And because of my recent entanglement with depression, I owed them apologies for bad behavior based on nothing more than my inability to control myself. I'm not ashamed of it, how could I be? It is not my fault that I have depression. I am fully responsible for my actions but not for the stresses that my disorder puts on me and then I in turn pass it along, unfortunately. So I had a need to share with them.

And so I added a bit to the usual order of celebration because of Sweet Man. He is such a dear man. My life partner and crutch. He has picked me up, literally and figuratively more times than I can count. But that is another tale for another day. Anyway, he woke up yesterday morning and said, "you know, you and I have been so busy trying to live life that we have forgotten how to live."

I was flabbergasted by his remark. I thought he hadn't heard the whispers I've been hearing. I didn't think he had the visitation by time that I have been having lately. But the dear man verbalized what my heart and head have been fully aware of for some time. So because of his brilliance, I asked the kiddos if we could include a deeper reflection time in our observance of the lovely moon.

The only question was......will we do this every moon please? So we gave our sorrys and our triumphs to the lady and to each other and made our ritual deeper. And now we will not only share what has gone on around us but in us as well.

I'm ready now for life. I turned a corner. Happy, sad, depressed, manic, in love, angry, scared, open, honest, truthful and raw. It does not matter so long as I am participating in life not watching it march past me like a parade. I am the builder of my own float in life's parade and I just need to practice my beauty queen wave a little more........tee hee

12 comments:

  1. I'm closing my eyes and seeing you on that parade float, your queenly wave fluttering the air. I'm the guy at the back of the parade, behind the horses with the big shovel.

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  2. Tell that sweet man you're married to that I think he's brilliant! I've given what he said a lot of thought and have decided I'm not wasting any more time. Starting today, right this minute I'm going to remember how to live.
    On another note, Stephen's comment cracked me up. What a joker! S&S

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  3. Brilliant - beautiful. I send you all the energies available to me to you to help you with this journey.
    xxoo

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  4. Sorry you've been struggling with this depression...It's a tough one to beat...

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  5. Pretty profound awakening & at the hands of Sweet Man! On the other hand, my hubby and I were on our way home from the Grands last night and three times in the car I said something about that beautiful moon. "Look at the moon hun, it's beautiful tonight. So bright & clear. Wow." Didn't even get the usual caveman grunt LOL... well, of course he was driving and wasn't able to admire or appreciate it the same way I guess. That's my story & I'm sticking to it! ;)

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  6. You obviously married a very wise man... Glad the battle has been won once more, onwards and upwards!

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  7. That last paragraph......I need that on my altar as a daily reminder. Thank you for this momma.

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  8. I have a feeling that they will keep a lot more than just the season keeping... I see my grandma in the moon, herbs, songs, cooking, holidays, and of course, if I even think about saying a nasty word she is usually somewhere scowling at me.

    Your Sweet Man is a wise one, and so perfect for you. Go on and live, my Oma Linda ;-)

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  9. Beautiful sentiments, Linda. I'm sorry for the depression but happy for the corner you have turned. Life is beautiful.. go on and enjoy. Hugs to you.

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  10. I was told by a very wise person that when I'm in a depression I need to remember what helps me "turn the corner" because eventually we will see the light but its so hard to believe that when were feeling so low. It was through sweet love that you are now in a better place. May you always have that love and light,

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  11. Oma Linda, this is a great post! Yes, you do need to practice your beauty queen wave more!! You have a sweet man and a beautiful family! I am sorry you have went through this hard time!

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