a question and answer forum.....for the time being. All things change and become something else if there is growth even Olde Baggs.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

For the sake of the children..........

In life, we are asked to do things that are hard emotionally to do. We have to change behaviors in order for there to be peace.

I learned at an early age that maintaining calm and not rocking the boat were actions that were required in order to keep in the "safe zone". I also learned to cry quietly, into a pillow, so that no one knew I was upset and so the "ugly" energy was not focused on me.

As an adult however, I mimicked my father's actions and made my feelings known at the top of my lungs. Talked ugly and loud and abusively. It's that legacy thing that happens to the abused. I have had bouts of depression and anger (same song, different words). I have been to therapy and learned other (alternate) behaviors, soothing exercises, focusing exercises, letter writing to perpetrators and finally to throw it away. I would say in the past 3 years, I have pretty much succeeded in being the better person, emotionally, that I have always yearned to be. My relationships are built on mutual respect and love. Whether it is my family, the neighbors (except for the fool child next door, who is just beyond even liking), the mailman, strangers in line, service people, whomever.

But like the fool child from next door, who btw I do tolerate, there are some folks out there in the world who have harmed or continue to harm and for all of them....not so much. I could be like I was before and be ugly but it would be a waste of my precious time and energy. I choose the high road and know that all ugliness, meaness, and maliciousness finds its own level and all will be accounted for at some time, in some way. Some call it justice, some call it Karma, I just call it deserved.

So, for the sake of the children.....no, I won't go there. But do not be fooled into thinking that that means I am not capable of protecting those that I love, whether family, friends, strangers, children and animals. Just like they say at the auction before the gavel comes down on the final bid....fair warning.

7 comments:

  1. As I always say, it's not all rainbows and fucking sunshine. Sometimes, we have to get down and dirty and get things done. Not all the time, but it's there for a reason.

    Best of luck.

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  2. It is good to grow and learn the lessons you have, I have learned a few myself but need to continue, you set a good example for me my friend.

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  3. Many cyber hugs coming your way from a stranger. Remember, you are stronger and smarter than you think!

    Jane

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  4. I think I accidently deleted my last comment. Anyway, many cyber hugs coming your way today. Always remember that you are stronger than you think and smarter than you likely realize!

    Jane

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  5. A person never knows what has happened in someone's life to make them who there are or why they are acting the way they do...sometimes, it just because they have had a bad day...it's best to give the benefit of the doubt at first and be nice...after that, if it's warranted, watch out...

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  6. Oh you are so right. they are absolutely not worth the breath that it would take to express your opinion of them. The best road is to ignore them, turn your back on them, do not give them the attention you would give a bug. After all, when you respond in kind you only recharge them and the only person you make feel bad is yourself.

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  7. Linda, it's been a really courageous path you've been on this year. As one who experienced abuse myself, I know that the holidays seem to cause a little more havoc with my emotions more. Not this year, I'm determined I won't let that happen. Thank you for being so brave and fighting the good fight. Wishing you and your loved ones a Solstice full of light and new faith.

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You are always welcome to comment on my thoughts and I love them all......