a question and answer forum.....for the time being. All things change and become something else if there is growth even Olde Baggs.

Friday, October 15, 2010

We've kicked them to the curb

You sweet things have read your way through so much of my muck and mire. And also that of the grands and their awful trials at the hands of evil people in a place far, far away and to them another lifetime ago.

I've told you about our counseling, our hurts, our rants, our pain....now I want to share some sunshine with you. I know, it's about time, huh.

The focus for me for over a year has been the close proximity of RyLeigh's pain and my own. His counselor and the role playing that caused me such consternation. I just hated that every week he was, in a manner of speaking, reliving the abuse or at least the tone of the abuse. It used to take all week long just to get him back to a place where he was approaching "normal" again. And then circumstances took him out of counseling every week, vacations for the therapist, school things he couldn't miss, etc. And guess what? I had a real boy on my hands. He had time to get away from thinking about what had happened to him and he started living a real life.

The same thing for GK. She missed some sessions and there is a perceivable calm, well as much as kids give you, that has descended upon their lives. They are much more comfortable in their skin. Ergo.....me too.

SM and I were talking this morning and I told him it was my day to post something for the abuse/survivor group but I had nothing that I could draw upon because the pain isn't "available" anymore. Sucks to be me huh. I really would have to go to the bottom of the well and dredge it to pull something up and discuss it. And at this point, as much as I am dedicted to trying to help others who are in pain, I can't join in that pain.

So here's the good news. It happened. I have arrived on the other side of the road. I have kicked the stupid, evil to the curb and it is, for the time being because I am a realist, behind me, us.

We're in a really good place, having a really good time and so we are not even gonna wave at trouble, hurt or pain. Cuz we just kicked it to the curb.

Don't forget to join us in our fun at Olde Baggs and get a chance to win the Witchy Hat I made for you my dears. Tah....


  1. Sometimes it's hard to let go of the past, but if we are to get on with our lives, we have to just let go. Good for you.

  2. You have no idea how much happy this news has given me on a day I could use some sunshine. You and yours have been through a lot of pain and hell and it's so damn good to hear that the hurt has been replaced with happy and that you all are out living life and not being held back by the evils anymore. So many big hugs and lots of love to you guys. xo

  3. Good for you - keep up your positive attitude and "always look at the bright side of life" (I love that song!)

    Have a wonderful weekend, my friend :-)

    Thanks, I have entered for the drawing. That hat is awesome - just like you ;-)

  4. Glad to hear things are getting better for you. It's important to be in a good place.

  5. You are soooo sweet to me friend, always there to boost me along my way! I want to boost you along your way too.
    I LOVE your choice to 'Kick it to the Curb'!
    I too am a survivor of pain, not abuse, but painful life circumstances. Years ago...like 20 years, I was talking to my shrink about how I could never 'NOT' think about...how it was ever present & how because it was MY life story I felt I needed to constantly be dealing with it.
    He so gently suggested I think of it differently...
    As on a stove, there are times when the dish you're cooking must be constantly watched, stirred, making sure it doesn't boil over. But once finished, it can be set on the back burner. It can simmer, it can rest, it can cool.
    By putting it on the back burner, it's not ignoring it or forgetting about it...it's there, you can see it. But you can also close the lid & work & play & create with the things on the front of the stove, you can smile & decide to make CUPCAKES!
    I LOVE cupcakes...
    Hugs Sweetie,
    Susie Q

  6. I'm so glad you are healing, and of course the little ones too! I'm sure it will be very inspirational for your group to hear that it is possible to move on.

  7. Kicking pain's ass to the curb is a good thing, and I'm so glad you know how that finally feels! Go you!

  8. The fact that the kiddos have a break from the reliving and rethinking is faboo news. Sometimes I think you can over-think stuff. I hope they have continued peace and can, like you, kick that crap to the curb.

  9. I really don't see the therapy in reliving horrid things...much better to focus on what is positive in life....the ugly is there but why give it any juice? Positive reinforcement of our strong points builds confidence and self esteem. That is what heals us....

  10. My heart sings for you all Linda~

  11. Sometimes bringing it up every week, all the time doesn't help...it's hard to move on when all anyone can talk about is the abuse...but, I've never been there, so I don't know...Just ignore me...


You are always welcome to comment on my thoughts and I love them all......