a question and answer forum.....for the time being. All things change and become something else if there is growth even Olde Baggs.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

From the ridiculous to the obscene..............

First I want to share a little known truth about me. I am a bitch. Oh, you knew that already????.....well good, then it will be no surprise to you. I am one of those woman who are proud of the fact that I am smart enough to be a bitch. I am in no way trying to put you lovelies in the middle. I am voicing, for the last time, an explanation and  disgust which I am living through.

Silly woman, wimpy woman and vacuous woman aren't even capable of being bitches. Maybe they are the lucky ones. After all they don't get folks looking back at them with their veins sticking out of the necks and foreheads. But I digress.

I also have never been afraid to be a bitch. Now that does not mean that I go out of my way to be mean. That's different and totally unacceptable as a life choice. I've shared with you in the past that the one lesson that I absolutely have driven into my grands little pointy heads is that:  "Nice Matters". But that does not mean that you let people wrong you, hurt you or mess with you just to avoid being strong and direct. Besides I love the saying...."you say bitch like it's a bad thing".

Intro complete, meat of the issue to present. I'm no longer going to beat around the bush, as they say, when it comes to speaking out against, stupid, wrong, lying, abusive and evil people. I will never disclose the actual full name of anyone that fits that category unless they force my hand. I will not back down to arrogant, lame, whiny, mean-spirited, hateful, self serving people who, unfortunately for my family, are related, thank the goddess, only by marriage as of this date. I also will not stoop to name calling so henceforth Paper Bag boy will forever be called by his title Son in Law, from whom my daughter is separated.

When SIL manipulated my loved ones, I bristled and was more attentive to the behaviors that indicate untruthfulness in action and deed. When SIL was neglectful of his adult responsibilities of providing a safe, secure, happy living environment for those I love, I was saddened and sickened by the lack of maturity and also lack of self respect. In his previous 3 unfaithful marriages he was "made to feel bad about himself", and his parents "belittled and made him feel bad about himself growing up".  So I am sure that is his lives expectation. It's not that we did not see why he acted the way he acts, but hoped for better.

Dragging his wife and children to SC so that he could isolate them from us was a move on his part that both SM and I recognized as manipulative and self serving. We hoped for the best and also hoped he would grow up and keep a job, that this marriage would work out for him and that he would be able to provide for his family. Having only met his parents once, when they came for the wedding, I had unfortunately already experienced inappropriate behavior on the part of both of his parents. One tried to french kiss me and the other was drunk most of the time. That also reinforced his lack of moral role models.

So I therefore hoped that the good influence from my daughter and her strong will and love for SIL and the children would make a difference for all of them. But, we all were wrong and it has had a cost to all involved, that will forever be a part of my grands upbringing and makeup.  I must interject here that I believe that even terrible things that happen to us if viewed as part of the bigger picture, enable us to achieve what we came here to do and be. This is facilitated by caring and nurturing olders who seek a higher truth. My grands would not be who they need to be in their lives, if they had not experienced pain. I have faith that they will indeed be lemonade makers extraordinaire, in spite of their ordeal. 

The grands came to us fearful, wounded, insecure and confused. We just loved them. We never did any brain washing or back biting or bad talking. We just let them have a place to rest from 2 years of hell. And instead of wanting the best for the kids and seeing the improvement in their lives and attitude SIL wants it back the way it was. Ugly, depressing, hungry, hollow and fearful.

Okay, I have given you background. But let's go back to the part of me being a bitch. SIL read what I wrote to all of you yesterday. You lovelies, who do not know him or would want to and it hurt his feelings. He had another one of his famous huge ego pity parties for one. His rhetoric included so many pathetic statements and moanings but there is a wonderful part to this happening. Every time he lies, or tries to manipulate, or wants pity, or has one of his fits, or blames us for his failings.....he is cementing the loss of caring and respect from Shelley.

So in true bitch fashion....hey SIL, keep it up, because you are the cause of your own problems (always have been) and are digging a wonderful deep, dark hole for yourself. And the best part.....no one gives a big one. So rant, cry and whine on and wear your pity party hat. This will be the last time I post about your pathetic self. I will not waste my time or energy.

That's with 3 snaps and a head wag.


  1. Good for you being strong willed and able to take on such a challenge! Many good wishes coming your way,


  2. It's so sad that he has done this to himself, to his family, to his extended family...so good that you can all get away from it...Bitch is good...

  3. You may be a bitch (as am I) but in this instance, you're being a grandmother and a mom and taking care of her loved ones. Nothing bitchy about that!

    I missed the last post somehow, but now that I've gone back and read it, I can't wait for Shelley to guest post! If she's anything like you, and I just know she will be, it'll be a hoot.

  4. Good for you! (And your daughter, and your grands.)


You are always welcome to comment on my thoughts and I love them all......