I will forever be grateful to all the couselors, be they trained or born to be, who have saved my bacon. I owe a lot to these people who have listened, repeated so that I could hear my own words, recommended, let me figure it out, pointed me in a healthier direction, put me in a position to look in the mirror and see what I am and just plain put up with me. I don't want anyone to get the wrong idea. I appreciate the efforts of all who would help
and then there are those that have found it necessary to correct, coerce, control and condemn.
I am absolutely sure at this spot in the road in my life that I have seen almost every kind of therapist, good, bad, indifferent, concerned, committed and those that should be.
It isn't for myself that I am making any comments. I feel like I have come to the conclusions and acted upon my own needed cleansings. It is for the others that I love that I am stating this, my own opinion.
Sometimes, help isn't help if it has strings. Sometimes, comfort is not comfortable if it has a price other than monetary. Sometimes, when you know in your gut, that it just isn't worth the cost of your well being, that you have to shut that door and be open to another door opening. Doing that for yourself is one thing, it is an entirely different kettle of fish when it is for someone else.
What do you think? Isn't manipulation, manipulation no matter what? Isn't using someone for your own purposes inately wrong? Be it in a clinical setting or a life setting?
Standing idlely by and watching loved ones going through something you think you have the answer for but they are not in a place where they can hear or heed your advice is the most frustrating place in the world. The old rock and a hard place thing.
I will keep on "being there" and watch for the opening to advise when it is appropriate. I should like to think that that is the way to handle this situation. Telling someone what to do is not giving advice but dictating and I gave that T shirt away some time ago.