a question and answer forum.....for the time being. All things change and become something else if there is growth even Olde Baggs.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

She's back.................here's Oma

This has quite possibly been the hardest week of my life. Now there's a statement. And for some of you, you're wondering why I compartmentalize my rantings to three blogs. Well on OBnSS, I am me but cleaned up for the most part. On PM, it is my selling related blog and on this one.......let er rip.

I started this blog with the hope I could vent and record my progress with my living situation, my relationship with my daughter and her children, my medical limitations and my angry little girls heart from my past lifetime abuses. Looking back I should have gone to another provider for this because it has become impossible to be truly real on this blog because of my daughter's life overlapping my own space. It isn't her fault and she is not the one who has made it uncomfortable. And most of you know the spoiler is. So I have decided after yesterdays adventures (you can read about that on OBnSS (look on the bottom of this blog for the address) I will no longer be silent on that subject.

Getting ready for this garage sale, selling things I did not have room for, selling over bought because I could not find things in this cramped environment, giving up items that if I had room I would have kept was stressful.

I realize it sounds petty but SM and I worked hard for the things we have and having to sell them, or give them away to make room is the right thing to do but is not easy....Oh some of it was crap and should have been given away years ago, I get that. Some of it was overage as I stated. But there is a kernel of resentment along with the knowledge of doing what was necessary.

I am stating it so that I can get it out and get over it. As Shelley says, it is what it is. But I am still of the thought that there is value in memory. There is value in tradition and holding it to be dear, sacred even. I know I could live without any of these "things" that surround me but they still hold the essence of SM's and my life together. They hold no value to anyone else and never will, I get that. I have a harder time detatching myself from my life than some folks. I have passions that others don't get.

SM does. He sat there by my side at the yard sale and we talked about when and where we purchased things, the memories we shared and cherished and that was excellent. But for the people around us it is just junk, things that have been around forever and hold nothing but space. In some ways, it makes me sad. And today, I can't help that thought.

I've missed my "brain cleaning" time with all of you. My friendships of the heart. My experiences in caring for and with all of you. I'm glad this hurtful bump in the road is behind me.....for now.....there will be more, I'm a realist, I know this to be true. And all will be well soonest.


  1. Linda, I totally understand how it would be hard getting rid of your stuff, your stuff is treasures of past times...I can just see you talking about memories....and no one knows better than you. so feel your way through, and scream if you need to. hugs.

  2. I left you a long one on your other blog!! So I'm ditto-ing this one!! hahahahaha!!

    Love ya,

  3. Nuttin' says you can't create a rant'n rave at Wordpress or somesuch free place if you really, really want to let go. We'll find you!

    For me, it is freeing to let go of stuff, but I'm weird. Comes from my dad having 5 of everything, I think, and then having to get rid of all the extras after he had passed away. But I can see it from your standpoint also, having created a warm and caring household filled with memories, whimsy and beauty it would be hard to see part of that walk out the door. I would have offered you a dollar for SM....*running away like Skippy* ((((Oma))))

    The word vert is co compressed I can't even READ it this time. Negative points. *sigh*

  4. Yes it is hard! I do understand and sympathize with you my dear. It is almost a mourning process. We are packing things up and moving them for our remodel to begin and my husband found a little ceramic cat that I have had since I was 18, it was given to me by my first husband and you would think it would have been easy to answer yes to "should this go to Goodwill" it wasn't easy it was hard to say yes, which I did with a twang of saddness.

  5. Oh Linda...to have to sell your things...so awful...Who is making you do this...Who do they think they are to ask it...I feel for you...so difficult...I'm headed to the other blog to check it out...hang in there...hope you got lots of money for those memories...


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