a question and answer forum.....for the time being. All things change and become something else if there is growth even Olde Baggs.

Saturday, July 3, 2010

I am confused....and this is new how Linda?

When I was younger, a long time ago my dears, I was told on more than one occasion that I was over sensitive. And as a kid, I did cry at the slightest provocation. Not in public mine you, but I would go to my room for a case of the boohoos. My Mother didn't like public displays of emotion. Like all the way up to pinching the back of my arm and threatening me with a willow switch if I caved in public. I guess I don't blame her for her upbringing. She was who she was and that's the name of that tune. She was from the stiff upper lip school of social behavior.

And goodness knows I had more than my share of the phrase, "don't be ugly". That's southern speak for "oh no you di ent". I never even uttered a curse word until I was 15 and then that cost me the left side of my face, which migrated to the right side of my head, in one felled swoop. I knew better than to "be ugly" and how to keep my comments, hands and opinions to myself. Even a stand in word or phrase cost me dearly, like sugar, or spit, dang, or dadgum it. Nope, She (who was named Mother and you might get away with Mom on occasion) cut me no special deals when it came to being the youngest of three. As a matter of fact, I think she increased the pressure cuz the other two belly achers were older by a decade plus tax and had influence over my raising.

So if I tell you that GK, who is also a Taurus like my Mom, and the person most likely to succeed in making me feel badly about myself because she means the world to me, tells me I have a potty mouth and makes me cry in front of her. Well you've gotta know I am LMAO. The tears were of laughter. I feel like maybe I have arrived and I am confused by my late arrival. Shouldn't I feel bad? Shouldn't I be embarrassed? As my favorite comedian, Gabriell Iglesias, alias Fluffy says, "Oh Hell no".

You see, I am comfortable with the nature of my relationship with reality. I am real, authentic, 100% Oma. This channel is tuned to all Linda, all the time. I held myself away from real for too many years, first by being who I was not, then by being who I thought my family and friends needed me to be, then by taking anti depressants to help me feel nothing so I could behave appropriatley for others, and now I am just old, "ugly" and weird.

I must say too bad so sad but this right here is an original work of art....me. As I was telling a friend today I am who I am supposed to be. The person you call when you have a heart ache. Because I will make you laugh, cry with you and tell you that you are cherished because, I know how I have allowed myself to feel and I won't allow others to hurt like that ........especially alone.

Old potty mouth signing off. ;-)


  1. I can empathize with you. I wasn't allowed to cry either...."or I will give you something to cry about." I wasn't even allowed to cry at my grandma's funeral...Here I was, 16 years old, mourning the woman who had meant so much to me, and I wasn't allowed to shed a tear...."Because you will get everyone else crying."

  2. I love this post and I am so glad you are who you are and I am honored to call you friend.

  3. I'm glad I got to meet the "real" Linda instead of the pre-reality version, cuz I likes her!

    The day I stopped trying to please my father was the first day of the rest of my life. 'nuff said.

    word vert: conflayd. I am no longer conflayd over my childhood.

  4. You are a true blessing in my life, Linda. Thank you and thank you for the laughter and I love who you are and will be forever and always. As for the potty mouth, well, you know I'm guilty too...oh well, could be worse, I could be a closet potty mouth!!!

    Love ya girl and am sending you many blessing and goats,


  5. Hi Potty Mouth! Or in my case, Motty Pouth! Try cursing with a bad case of verbal dyslexia, or malapropisms as it may also be called! Tee hee! Glad you are you and not the fake you anymore.

  6. Oh Linda, the only person you are supposed to be exactly yourself. Your Mother (like mine) had the best intentions, but you can't be her ideal of yourself or anyone else's. Junk Gypsies sell a t-shirt that says "Mama Tried" which I really keep thinking I should buy...should I just order two? =}

    Hugs, Kelly


You are always welcome to comment on my thoughts and I love them all......