a question and answer forum.....for the time being. All things change and become something else if there is growth even Olde Baggs.

Wednesday, July 31, 2013

When your heart's just not in the work............

Well it's another case of the the well laid plans of The Cuckoos......

I do apologize for the lack of the new and improved Gazette. Our hearts have just not been in the fun for the past week.

GK's kitty Cybella became ill last week and we had to take her to the vet. After much testing it was discovered that the terrible mouth odor that we detected, along with the lethargy was in fact renal failure. Ms. Cybella must have ingested something and it was killing her. GK and Shelley have been down to the vet to visit Cybella every afternoon. Ry just can't take the scene in. He is so tenderhearted and cannot see animals in pain. It affects him so much that he and I have stayed home.

Ms. Cybella has improved somewhat. Her "levels" have come up but not to normals. They say that there is room for hope and improvement and that we should not think it over yet, and I am trying to hold onto the positive. Needless to say, GK has not been in the mood to create for Helen Heels and I am flat as a pancake.

I know this probably sound self serving as heck. I know it sounds as if, we, The Cuckoos split apart at the first sign of trouble, but truly sports fans......it is so hard to keep the level of happy up around here. It is a full time job. The peace and tranquility is fragile at best.

My grands have been in and continue to fight the wars of the past. They are both good kids with very tender emotional issues. If I could give an you a verbal picture, these kids are like emotional hemophiliacs....I have to be afraid of so many things that might cause them to get a small cut and bleed to death. And Ry, bless him, will always fight the war.

Just the approach of school and the end of his program was enough to knock him off his stride. School has and will continue, unfortunately, to be an unknown for us. We still have no answer from the school system as to which school he will even attend. He's afraid to go to the old one and more afraid to go to the new one. Dread and fear have replaced being in the moment like he was at summer program and he is not here with us most of the time. He has gone to his own little world to hide and soothe. It makes me so sad and feel so helpless. But I have come to a place of peace with just checking in with him every couple of hours to make sure he is still okay. His autism keeps him safe at times because he is in "his time" and then when something like this crisis happens, it forced him to readjust and it's a crap shoot whether he will be able to or not. He has been so good to his "Sissy". It is at times like this that I am so glad they have each other. I know they will always be each others friend. It is the only shining thing right now around here. To watch them soothe each other.

And now that GK is in the middle of this crisis, she too vacillates between wanting to be alone and glued to my side. When you add this pain with Ms. Cybella, her mood swings are excruciating. Just last week she was riding high with Harry Potter as Storytelling and things we so great. Watching GK fret is soul crunching. She is a chirpy little bird one moment and the next, she is a wizened old one whispering sorrow with every breathe.

I know that at the end of this situation, whatever that may be, that lessons and new paths will be opened up and that the growth made will be what The Cuckoos need to be equipped with in order to face whatever comes next. I do trust we will come through this. It is that we are in "mid muddle" right now.

I think that we will not promise anything but updates to you for a bit. I am in full time "catch them before they fall" mode and need to be alert and in attendance to the important.

Fridays post will be by Ms April Ross, storyteller, gnome lover and purveyor of fantasy fun. I know that you will enjoy her post.

xoxo Oma Linda

7 comments:

  1. it's unrealistic to think that life is going to be happy happy all the time. the kids need to learn to cope when things are not so happy happy. you know this I know. I'm wondering if Ry might be better off home schooled but then that would fall to you I suppose. sometimes there are just no good choices.

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  2. What is wrong with the school system to let Ry wait so long to find out what's going on!? Death is a hard lesson, but one that should be learned in order to more fully appreciate life.

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  3. Boo to all the things bringing you down! (((((HUGS)))))

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  4. Launching something new takes a lot of emotional energy under the best of circumstances and it seems that your plate is full at the moment. People like you, those with a generosity of spirit, tend to give and give until there isn't anything left. Be sure you don't drain yourself beyond the point of no return. While shouldering everyone else's problems be sure to take good care of yourself.

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  5. Oh My Dear...no one is judging the Cuckoos. We are wrapping our arms around you all in a huge circle of love and understanding and support. When Henry was ill last week and had to go to the Vet, Life stopped until we knew exactly WHAT the problem was. And then we were wrecks days afterwards from the stress and worry leading up to the Vet visit. I understand exactly where you are with Miss Cybella. I will continue to Hope and Wish the Best for her...and the Entire Cuckoo Household. If there is anything I can do to help, please just let me know. But you, dear Gnoma, take care of yourself and your family and try not to worry. Love to you all.

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  6. You obviously have your priorities in order! Just focus on all that needs your focus now and don't worry about us. You are a very kind and compassionate person, so the kids are in good hands.

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  7. Oma Linda, we are with you and and the family! Sending always much love! xoxoxoxo

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You are always welcome to comment on my thoughts and I love them all......