Last night's moon...........

Full moon always has a profound effect on me. I know the pull is inside me just like the ocean being pulled by the moon. But last night, I had to take it in, in a different manner.

my energy works photo

We always celebrate the full moon with song and merriment, which we did, some more than others. The grands see it as a way to fun activity. I see it as a way to reconnect with what has gone on during the waxing and plan for the waning. They observe and note the changes around them.They are really good season keepers. If when they are grown, they gain nothing more from "my practices", I hope and it would be my fondest wish that they look back on our shared times of notations. The comings and goings of season, moon and our time together.

And because of my recent entanglement with depression, I owed them apologies for bad behavior based on nothing more than my inability to control myself. I'm not ashamed of it, how could I be? It is not my fault that I have depression. I am fully responsible for my actions but not for the stresses that my disorder puts on me and then I in turn pass it along, unfortunately. So I had a need to share with them.

And so I added a bit to the usual order of celebration because of Sweet Man. He is such a dear man. My life partner and crutch. He has picked me up, literally and figuratively more times than I can count. But that is another tale for another day. Anyway, he woke up yesterday morning and said, "you know, you and I have been so busy trying to live life that we have forgotten how to live."

I was flabbergasted by his remark. I thought he hadn't heard the whispers I've been hearing. I didn't think he had the visitation by time that I have been having lately. But the dear man verbalized what my heart and head have been fully aware of for some time. So because of his brilliance, I asked the kiddos if we could include a deeper reflection time in our observance of the lovely moon.

The only question was......will we do this every moon please? So we gave our sorrys and our triumphs to the lady and to each other and made our ritual deeper. And now we will not only share what has gone on around us but in us as well.

I'm ready now for life. I turned a corner. Happy, sad, depressed, manic, in love, angry, scared, open, honest, truthful and raw. It does not matter so long as I am participating in life not watching it march past me like a parade. I am the builder of my own float in life's parade and I just need to practice my beauty queen wave a little more........tee hee