a question and answer forum.....for the time being. All things change and become something else if there is growth even Olde Baggs.

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Would you rather be right or happy?

At first I wasn't going to keep going with the train of thought of bullying as it relates to our lives here at the Cuckoos nest. But then I thought, it's not fair or right not to let you all know what is going on. I'm mean it's like leaving you out there blowing in the wind.

When I worked with teenagers (and middle school youth as well) I had a very good and wise friend who asked me when I was "fit to be tied" by some circumstances beyond my control but still part of my working with the kids and their parents, would you rather be right or happy? Now on the surface the answer was right, but in my heart I wanted to be happy. But that's because that is who I am. Being right has caused all manner of difficulties in my life.....or at least having to be right has. But being happy with my self and my good behavior has never been a negative. Hmmmmmm what to choose, what to choose. Because I was in a position to be "a role model" I chose happy.

I wish I could tell you that yesterday's principal with principle episode was the last you were going to hear of "the teacher" but I'd be lying to you. "The Teacher" chose to be right. She sent an email to Shel once again letting the world know that she could not have known about GK's past and issues and it should have been told to her at the beginning of the school year and that if GK were to ever find herself in another situation where she saw wrong being done that she should tell an adult because she could be an accomplish to a crime in the real world and that the teacher would certainly keep her eye on GK from now on. I know what a terrible run on sentence. What a terrible example of the teachers mind set. It was once again GK and Shel's fault because the teachers had to take a strangers word (her phrase) when they take the kids out in public. And Gk did switch her story and that is an indicator of guilt.....blah, blah, blah.

She could have just let it go or been polite and said she was sorry but instead she had to lecture Shel and GK once again about how flawed their thinking and they were. What the, what the.

I posted this on facebook so I know some of you have already read this rant....sorry lovelies. I am still puzzled as to the why of this behavior. I know, I'm Ms. Goody Two Shoes and I don't need to know but really? So I gave GK an assignment from her Suzy Sunshine Oma to find something good about this woman to concentrate on and try to respect.

 Faulty logic? I don't think so. GK has to stay in the class there are no other teachers of this subject for 7th grade. Make lemonade out of persimmons. Look for the good and concentrate on that. Pity the hurt "the teacher" must have somewhere inside her to make her so adamant about being in control and right no matter what. Be nice, be good and if she will not allow you to be these things.....we'll go back to the drawing board and use another tactic or involve the principal again. GK knows we will not let her suffer a fool. Giving up and reacting to "the teacher", giving her attitude or an excuse to continue to bully is not an option. Besides, that really isn't GK's style.

And if all else fails, I will do what I did when Shel was in high school and her chorus teacher went off her nut and began verbally and physically abusing the swing choir at zero hour (o dark thirty in the AM). I'll go sit in the class and just be a presence of peace. We do what we have to do to protect not only our own but all children......period. It is that pay it forward thing. I had a totally different outcome to my abusive 1st grade classroom situation. I will not let my own suffer needlessly at the hands of pathetic people.

Besides, GK is the kid who went with her brother to special needs summer program so we could have eyes and ears on that situation and ended up being a junior counselor because she fell in love with differently abled, especially down syndrome kids. If she could live through being hit, pushed under the water, yelled at by these kids and still become an advocate for them and actually enjoy being in the crowd of sweet and sour differently abled children, some of whom were "out there"......she can withstand one teacher with a huge character flaw.

I have faith in GK, her loving Mom and all of you who love and support us. We are the armed ones, with love. Oma Linda


  1. Can i just say.. i love you!! You are amazing and you have an amazing family. You would go there and sit in the class? This is so sweet!

  2. Constant vigilance. It never ends.

  3. I choose to be happy, even if so many might say that is not right...

    On a different note, the more I read about that teacher the more I dislike her. What is wrong with her? My goodness!

  4. amazing that she just can't let it go. I would just ignore any communication from her, no response. the meeting with the principal was all the resolution it needed. but to answer your question, I can be right and happy. the difference is that I no longer feel the need to convince others that I am right. I used to get into fights with my husband wanting him, needing him, to agree. Now, I'm OK with his wrong headedness! hee hee.

  5. Always choose to be Happy ;-) xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

  6. Oh good grief! Now I like to be right, but hell, I go and silently argue it out in my head, then take a deep breath and relax. Oh, except when arguing with my dad, who also has to be right, or my mum, who also has to be right. But then all bets are off when you're arguing with your family that are all right ;o)

  7. Some people have a need of being in control or right all of the time to be able to function and this teacher sounds like she's one of those people. She probably argued with the principal too and I'm sure that in her mind she knows the truth of the matter and it isn't the truth the rest of us know.
    I don't envy GK having to spend time with this woman but knowing what a strong young woman she is I know she'll make every effort to find the good in this woman and will be the stonger and more level headed of the two.
    Give her a hug from me and tell her I think she's one great kid. S&S

  8. "Ye Olde Crone's Gazette" has been included in this weeks A Sunday Drive. I hope this helps to point even more new visitors in you direction.


  9. I wouldn't be able to let this go. I would be worried each day my child had to be around this asshole monster. I would, again, take the letter down there and ask for a 3 way conference with the teacher and the principal. I'd bust out some threats (you know the kind, that are said with poisonous honey dripping from one's mouth) and then I'd make unannounced visits. I'm not sure if your school has this but ours has a "bully report form". I knew a mom who filed one against a teacher. Why should they be exempt. I wish I lived closer, fuck that stupid bitch.

  10. I am reading these posts backwards, so I have to go to the first post about what happened! I am right with you on everything you said Oma Linda! You are one wise woman!! Love ya! and, love Gk and Shel ;o)


You are always welcome to comment on my thoughts and I love them all......