a question and answer forum.....for the time being. All things change and become something else if there is growth even Olde Baggs.

Friday, October 8, 2010

Saint Osith (Osgith, Osyth) Day, a holy NO

I read another blog about this little known British saint today and so did some investigation. I guess it was the part about her being forced into marriage that got me interested in her. After reading several accounts of her life (none of them agree on any part of her life), I gleaned a simpler version of her. She was forced to marry man for political reasons. Now that is not necessarily an oddity in the age in which she lived 800 ACE. She was schooled in a convent school, was a princess, forced to marry a king of another province, after having given this king an, heir, declared her celibacy, founded an abbey and was martyred at the hands of Viking invaders.

Now what does that have to do with me, you ask? The only shred of commonality I have with Osith is that I too was forced into marrying someone I did not want to marry. I am sure that many woman have found themselves in that predicament. I know many woman who married out of lust, greed, convenience, necessity and some like me had mother's who couldn't bear that their daughter had gotten pregnant out of wedlock. And besides what were the neighbor's gonna think?

Yes, I suppose if I had had the ability to say anything to my Mother during that period of my life, I could have formed the word, No. But I had been trained at an early age not to argue or go against what my parents told me, including but not limited to the telling of "secrets". So when I committed the ugly sin of fornication and got myself pregnant.....well there was not saying No as an alternative to my Mother expecting me to marry a guy that was less than caring. I cried all the way down the aisle, not because I was happy or excited about the day but because I just didn't want my wedding day to be such a farce. Sorta like the scene from Ever After where the Spanish princess weeps at the kneeling rail as Cinderella prince laughs hysterically. That was me.....bawling my eyes out.

I don't think he wanted to marry me any more than I wanted to marry him but in 1970....it was still the "right" thing to do. Right for who....the child who would never know love between her parents, the stupid kids who experimented with lust and it backfired, the parents who had to fork out money on a joyous event and then hope no one would count on their fingers and figure it out?

No. Now there is a word all abuse victims have a battle with. No, I won't. No, I can't. No, you can't. No just No. Getting married to someone who does not hold you on the highest pedestal in the world is just wrong. Luckily my first marriage did not last long and my Sweet Man came along and I was found and could say yes, in so many ways.

St. Osith is the patron saint of the No. She told her husband No and then went into a convent.

There is not one shred of historical evidence she even existed but I'll let her have her day today and hope someone who hasn't the nerve to say no, can, and will. That's what these Networked blogs on Friday are all about....empowering others with real life stories from people who overcame abuse or negative situations.


  1. Forcing anyone to do anything is not going to have a good result. Like I tell my mama, practice saying it to yourself, no. Have a beautiful weekend!


  2. No is such a simple word but so hard for so many of us to say. I have learned to say no now but still learning to say it with conviction!

  3. Parents sure didn't have much of a clue in those days....It was all about what people thought. Luckily our generation came along and finally said, NO! I am very proud of our generation for extracting ourselves from such archaic thinking. The world really has changed and we now know how to say, NO. Good on you......

  4. Well Linda, you would think that in this day and age, the younger ones have seen what happens. They have and it seems a lot of them don't care. They go ahead and do what they want and forget about the consequences. Girls get pregnant and it is so unreal that with all the knowledge that is out there, there are still going at it. Good post. Have a wonderful Sunday.

  5. I think you're doing a good thing here with the stories and the sharing. Perhaps it will give some lonely, abused and frightened person the strength to do something about his/her situation.

  6. You did not get yourself pregnant...it takes two...however, forced marriages rarely work...arranged marriages sometimes work and sometimes don't...so glad you found your Sweet Man...

  7. I'm so sorry you had to go through that, but I wouldn't truly appreciate the wonderful man I'm married to now if my first marriage (of my own choosing) hadn't been so horrible. I hope that you, too, can turn bad to good and use it to appreciate your Sweet Man all the more.


You are always welcome to comment on my thoughts and I love them all......