Guest Blogger: Shelley
I want to thank my mom for letting me be a guest blogger...or maybe I should thank her for allowing me to use her Ye Olde Crone's as my outlet. Yep its Shelley..the Mom behind the Grands, the Missing Generation.
Oma has blogged so much about the kids and their/our situation. Today, it is my turn. From a Mommy Perspective.
I woke up this morning before the butt crack of dawn (on my day off when I could have slept till half past the butt crack). I woke up with the realization that after a little more than a year, countless therapy hours, medication changes and sleepless nights, my babies are no longer haunted.
Now that is a double edged sword. To come to the realization that the haunting has ceased, I also had to have the flashes of why they became haunted. Why my son was deathly afraid of the sound of a flushing toilet. Why my beautiful daughter couldn't sleep on her own.
I played the pictures in my head of the look of dark circles under malnourished eyes in my head only to fast forward to happy healthy beautiful sparkling root beer colored eyes with clear skin. I also replayed some of my own terrors. Only to come to a conclusion that the sound of the joyous raucous laughter coming from my babies bed room on a Monday morning is music. I was blessed this morning in that I woke up with my GK sleeping next to me so I snuggled down with her and was able to feel her relaxed body.
I love both my babies so much, but GK and I have something special. She is my sleeping pill and my Ativan. I woke her up with tickles and kisses and asked her a very important question in my mind. "Do you feel safe? Really safe?" And the answer was a sleepy "Yes". I then made my way into what is my kiddos shared bedroom. Opening the door I saw my bright-eyed boy still in bed but fully awake. I crawled, no, more climbed into his bed and snuggled with him for a bit and gave him the reassurance that he was safe and no harm would come to him again as long as I had anything to say about it. GK joined us..which Oma always says looks like a pile of puppies lumped all together. But the three of us love the closeness that we have gained now.
It is so very possible to become a non-haunted family. Knowing its a day to day, sometime minute to minute process, I take the moments and cherish the fact my children are happy, healthy and loved to the fullest extent of the word.
I am sure this isn't my last post. I know I have more to say. Just know that it is possible and attainable and happiness and safety are an option. I believe now.