a question and answer forum.....for the time being. All things change and become something else if there is growth even Olde Baggs.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

The perfect storm

My lovely daughter who went to school to be a music teacher, left college and went to work in banking, mortgaging actually. Then out of desperation while living in South Carolina went to work as a pharmacy tech, she is now waiting tables in a hole in the wall diner owned by friends. All of these decisions were made for "reasons". We all have our reasons which sometimes are hasty decisions, sometimes all that can be done at the time and sometimes out of necessity. This job was here before she arrived from SC, it allows her to be with her kids after school, most days and she thought the work environment would be great because the owners and their kids were her friends.

I know all of you are sitting out there thinking, oh boy. And you would be 100% correct.

Monday, Shelley aksed her boss if she could come in for the later shift today because RyLeigh had the opportunity to get another counseling session in at 7:45 this morning. Now normally, there are only 2 wait staff at a time and for some reason on Thurs, her boss M, has all 4 of the wait staff scheduled.....we don't know why, but it is his restaurant and there ya go. After giving her a hard time about asking to be able to take Ry to the counselor, he then proceeded to give her his thoughts on her mothering technique.

No, I am not kidding. He told her all this counseling crap was just that crap. That she was wasting her time and energy. And that all Ry needed was a good spanking in order to get him on the right track. Asked if, since she had no male influence in Ry's life (what does he think Sweet Man is, a fig newton of our imagination?) Shelley wanted him to have some time with Ry to straighten him out. He then used his own kids as shining examples of "good kids". Yep, they are good enough to come to work every Saturday and sit in a 6 x 6 room and have to be quiet and not come out, even to go to the bathroom all day. They are good enough to be scared of him, just like their mother is. They are good enough to spend every school holiday, summer vacation and any sick day in that same room. Mom, S has to come to the diner to wash dishes and do set ups as soon as she gets them to school each day and can't leave until the last customer leaves at 2.....whatever, even if the kids are waiting for her on the play ground. No one else can look after the kids except his wife. When the family goes on vacation, they go to Las Vegas. The kids stay in the room with the hotel sitter's (huh? how come they can have a sitter in LV?) and M & S go gambling. Oh I am sure they let the kids swim and what not but......really?

Shelley has come from an over controlling, jealous situation in SC and now is living it in her job here too. She still deals daily with her estranged husband the nutjob who tries to control from far far away. So you add that with who she works for....yeowy, she's hanging by a thread.

This man does not like that she has regular customers who give her a hug or tease her or tip her really well. He says that she can't be friendly to people because you never know. He is a control freak. Has a Napoleonic complex and needs to be slapped down a few pegs. Just my opinion. Don't get my Irish up or my Mexican either. This man has crossed the line between friendship, employer, and jealous man so many times he isn't sure what he is doing but wants to control it all.

She is my daughter, how in the heck could she ever be anything but friendly? When she was growing up she would roll her eyes every time I started up a conversation with a stranger in a check out line or on the bus or at the mall. Always made fun of the fact that I never meet a stranger and now the nut fell from the tree and is the same. That's how she makes excellent tips in a crap job. She is hard working, responsive, respectful, caring, and funny. And this idiot of a boss is trying to control that so he feels better. Doesn't he understand that they have repeat customers and loyal ones too, not only because of the food he prepares, but because Shelley is damn good at her job. There is no respect or regard on his part.

This is a horrible situation. Shelley needs to quit this job and find a new one.
But she is afraid she won't find anything else where she can be with the kids as much. I keep telling her. "it ain't worth it". But she is their Mom and wants that time. 

I am not going to use the fact that his heritage is from another country to explain or excuse his behavior. And I also must add that you never know who someone is until you spend hours, daily with then. I am going to tell you that I am so pissed, I am having a really hard time not telling this bone head what I think of his parenting model, business practices or of him as a man of very little worth. This could be one of those situations where every thing falls in place at the right/wrong time and I hope they have computer time in prison for the inmates.


  1. What a horrible person this man seems to be!!! But, he probably picks up on her fears and is using them. She should start looking, then if someone calls, set up the interview time for when she is free so he has no idea that she is looking elsewhere.

  2. Sounds like she should start checking out other restaurants with similar hours. You are right life is too short to live in a way that doesn't make you happy.

  3. I'll light my candles and I hpoe your daughter starts looking for something else. If she could get this job, she can get another one. I do know how it is, because after I left my ex (spit spit), I'm facing a big trouble to find something tht allows me to stay with my son in the mornings, but I don't give up.
    I simply hate this kind of man!!! Disgusting, useless.
    As I said, I do hpe she finds someting else asap. In the meantime, the less she talks to this crap the better.

    Kisses from us.

  4. grr i hate when people abuse their power, one person can affect so many people down the line.had a few bosses like that myself, its really tough


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