Gone but not forgetting...........

If you haven't read my post on OBnSS then you don't know I am having to type this one handed. Never realized how many things you can't do when your hand doesn't work. I am having "I can't comment on all my favs" withdrawal.

I'll be back...that's a threat and a promise.

How to Cuddle with an Elephant Seal

I just came across this video a friend sent and I have to give you the opportunity to be touched by nature on this Earth Day. I personally cried for 5 minutes.....it is so touching, literally and beautiful. Venture on my lovelies to how to cuddle with an elephant seal. http://www.wimp.com/elephantseal/

So you are the dirty dog I thought you were, are and forever will be dtd

Getting better every day

Let's see, today is the day I get the car and get to be an adult with somewhere to go. Yay.
I got over my doldrums from sorting memory thingies.
The lilacs are in full force in the backyard.
I found some of my turtles and 1 baby turtle.
I am putting one foot in front of the other and I am alive.
All good things, all in slow motion, all in due time.

I realized today as I was getting ready to post that somewhere deep inside of me, I am aware that I have changed. Don't really know how to explain it. As I can I will try to elaborate. I think this is a good thing. I feel a little more free somehow.

Typical Saturday.....

Hello lovelies. Hope you're having a wonderful weekend.

We got some snow last night, just a dusting but snow none the less.

Gorgeous rain clouds today, drifting between periods of sunshine and cloudiness, sorta like my attitude. I am sorta on the soured milk side of a milk shake.

This week has been a rough one. Going through possessions and things that I had put off since my Mother passed and also things I have accumulated from....I'm gonna do's. Mingle feelings of "Oh, hell no and probably not". Made me sad, mad, glad, and just plain tired. I'm really not bitching, just reporting. It also felt good to be rid of some of the bad juju from too much memory stuff. It felt wonderful to think, I don't have to take it back and save it for good. What is that anyway? Something my Mom used to say. Creeps in my head when I'm not watching.

Then there's the ongoing stupidity of my idiot sil. This boy and paper bags are on an intellectual par.

GK has had some mean girl stuff (typical of 4th grade) going on so there's that soap opera. She did not get chosen by lottery to attend the charter school so we are just dropping back 15 and punting. Something good will come along for her and us, in the way of schooling, I am sure of it.

Ry has one classmate who had strep (and came to school anyway) and another that is home with pneumonia after he had been at school for several days with whatever. Ry had a fever a few months back. The nurse called and raised holy crap with me. I had no car so I got the message to his Mom. She got off work as soon as she could to go get him. You would have thought we had introduced Swine Flu to everyone involved. So how is it that the others are the typhoid twins and have stayed there and everyone knew? I am really puzzled but that's the land I come from, Puzzlelandia. Sweet man and I can feel the plague coming on again.......

Shelley works so hard, is so tired when she gets home and still has to deal not only with the paper bag boy, the kids, us but keeping time for herself and that's not easy to do when paper bag boy won't leave her alone for a moment. I am praying that the anti christ texting fairy causes his fingers to freeze. Oh was that rude?

I am in process. I hate that phrase cuz I use it to mean..."hey ya'll I'm finally getting off my big fat pink butt" and starting to finish an arty thought that I had a long time ago. Need to put the hammer down tomorrow with GK for our May baskets....which is next Saturday and then our Solstice fairies cuz I am so tired of the Easter tree still being up.

We need to gather the fae from years past and perch them on the faery tree and add this years models. GK says we are going to design them like on Project Runway...no Heidi Klum faeries for us but she wants us to compete for Fashion Week for the Fae. I am thinking she is so cute and I wanna gobble her up. So our faeries will walk the runway and work it honey (snap, snap).

Then I shall return to my witchlets and Halloween treetoppers and Day of the Dead and Loteria fun things I started a month ago. There they are just staring at me saying...don't ya care that there are fewer than 200 days until Halloween? Don't ya care that the cat has been giving us midnight kisses and he's getting scarier by the minute? Halloween thingie's complain alot if left out in the light too long, don't ya know.

Enough babble, I gotta see what the grands are getting into, or out of, or their latest thing.....science experiments....even scarier than the cat.

I'm wondering ..................

Been thinking alot about wishes and my hearts desires as of late.

I posed this question on another venue but I would like to pose it to you here.....if wishes were horses then beggars would ride.....is part of an old saying but, if you could have your hearts desire for yourself, not philanthropically, not neighborly, not in your sphere of influence but just for you, what would it be?

For me, I want to be healthy enough to be here when my grandkids get grown. At the rate I am going now, that ain't gonna happen unless I change my choices in food, activity and mind set. So I wish for stick-to-it-ness in caring for myself.

Happy Birthday dear RyLeigh Eoan, happy birthday to us

RyLeigh Eoan was born 6 years ago today. Sweet Man and I have been blessed to be in attendance at both of the grands births. I hope we don't have any more because I don't know if I could go through watching my darling girl in that much discomfort again. It hurts me too bad.

Yes, yes it is an awesome beautiful moment, blah, blah, blah, but for a Mom watching, it still hurts. Just my opinion and I'm sticking to it.

Ry was a squirmy bit of work when he made his appearance. Very active, very animated. I swore on his birth that since he had stolen mine from me I didn't have to have any more. So I have been in suspended birthday animation for 6 years. Mind now it hasn't kept me from aging but finally the onus is off of me on this day and where it should be...on the kid.

Here is a RyLeighism for you from this morning. Upon awakening, he said he wanted to make sure that I put his chocolate cupscakes into his backpack for his party at school today. I told him no I couldn't, but his Mom would bring them when she went to school this afternoon. He said oh dear, will it still be my birthday then? Gotta love it.

From his Papa and I he will get a loud, obnoxious Tonka tractor with a front end scraper blade and a trencher on the rear, more sidewalk chalk paraphanalia, presents of unknown description from his Mom, an ice cream cake and much love from his family and friends. As it should be. 

Ry says thanks...........

Thank you to all who commented about Ry's new success and thanks to those who gave us good thoughts too.

Here is the swing of the pendulum comment. Sunday was wonderful, yesterday...not so much. He had a day....where I wanted to run far, far away and hide until I felt better. But that my darlings is the nature of the beast we named RyLeigh.

This morning, I read him parts of my blog from yesterday. But I read him all the comments. He was so overcome with a strange joy. He was so excited that "my lovelies" had talked to him. When I explained who each of you were, he was over the moon. "From other countries, really Oma? and they talked to me?" "Somebody who lives in SC where I used to live, do they know my Dad?" And then here's the best, "can I take the computer to show the class how other people like me?" Three waffles and some convincing later he decided he could just tell about it instead.....Whew dodged the bullet on that one.

And he stayed for the whole movie

This is a celebration post.

RyLeigh, who will be 6 on Friday, went to see How to Tame a Dragon and was able to sit through the entire movie. Well he didn't exactly sit through the whole movie. But the first showing in a very small and out of the way movie house was the key. This was his first theatre experience. Shelley never wanted to set him up for failure by taking him to somewhere that he would not be able to be successful. He has impulse issues and can be at times, a bit of a handful.

Lots of activity, loud sounds, emotional themes, other kids, someone staring at him, the dark are all things that cause him distress. Yep that would be the picture show as my Daddy Jack called it. Going to the movies has been a non activity for Ry until Sunday.

He came home and said to Papa and I, "I was a terrific success at my movie". Why, yes he was. He was apprehensive when the lights lowered, covered his ears when the promos started, stood up and said he wanted to go now, when the movie got emotional but he was able to self soothe and overcame his discomfort and watched his first movie in a theatre.

Damn people this is huge. Just gynormously huge. He is coming along just fine. Unlike Peter Pan, this boy wants to be a real, grownup boy and is making great strides. Yeah for Ry, yay for us.

Time is on our side, yes it is............

Or so sang Mick Jaggar and the Rolling Stones.

It has been two weeks since I said goodbye to Ms. Willow. After the initial shock and pain and guilt, I have had time to reflect on the fact that she is at peace and not suffering and not being confused or drugged or lapsing into horrible contortion making seizures.

I feel blessed and at peace. I still miss her hairy, slobbery self, but I am at peace. I did what had to be done and it was the right thing at the right time for her sweetness and me. Now I don't have to worry about trying to wake up midway through the night to clean up an ocean of pee or see her sad face at what had happened because I know she didn't know what was happening. This feels right.

Now for all of you who have new puppies, darling dogs and older furbabies, I am not however in a place to be able to join in your joy at this moment. I will be there someday, but for now, I shall guard my heart.

Some of my friends have suggested getting a new pet. My answer is no thank you. I have Sunny Bunny the Boo Boo head kitty who is now in the process of making friends with Shelley's coyote spawn dog, Odin. They are enjoying scoping each other out at this point. Both are testing the waters of cohabitation. Doing the chase and run thing right now. They sort of trade off as to who is doing the chasing and who is running away.

And besides, I only have to wait for about 5 weeks until the turtles will be stomping around the fairy garden demanding food. I will have more of an opportunity to look for babies and construction a better habitat for the tiny ones.

So no more furbabies for awhile. I need to heal and get myself in a better place mentally and certainly need to be in a better situation to afford to provide the best for those creatures in my care before adding any more.