Cross contamination

I created this blog so that I would have a place to rant and rave and stomp my feet and separate that from my story telling on Olde Baggs n Stuft Shirts. However, I'm gonna cross contaminate. All of you lovelies out there who are dear to me and have treated me so kindly and warmly during my difficulties don't really know the me that is not normally pitching a fit unless you follow OBNSS.


In some ways, I feel kinda silly sorta like Sally Fields when she accepted whatever award it was when she said "you like me, you really like me". You know people are always bringing that up as a stupid thing to do or say but I don't think so. So by golly here goes.............Thanks very much Marlene of http://marlenes-musings.blogspot.com/ who gave me an award and I'd like to answer the questions here on Ye Olde Crone, if you don't mind. Because you have proven at the very least you can put up with me and at my pleasure that you hold good thoughts for me. So it's my turn to give you some insight into me.


First I need to give you the guidelines for the award because it is my intention to pass it along to you.


~Here are the Sunshine Award Guidelines~

1) Please thank the person who gave the award to you.

2) Copy the award and place it in your blog.

3) Link back to the person who nominated you.

4) Name 6 things that no one would really know, about yourself.

5) Nominate your Sunshine Award bloggers and post links to their blogs.

6) Leave a comment on each of those blogs letting them know you have nominated them for the Sunshine award.
 I did this not long ago on OBNSS but I promised myself that each of these would be positive, truthful, sunshiney things.

A. I have hazel eyes, the left one has a witch's spot in the iris. It isn't anything but is like a birthmark. My maternal grandmother Mazie Elisabeth had one as well. The older I get the lighter my eyes have gotten, more green now than brown but the spot is still black.

B. I flew in a fighter jet when I was in college. I wasn't supposed to but I was dating a pilot and well you know how young lust is. Biggest rush I ever had and the airplane ride wasn't bad either.

C. I was supposed to be twins. I had a cystic sac at the base of my spine with a tiny bit of hair and a rudimentary tooth removed when I was 19. Can you imagine the world with two of me....OMG.

D. I am so near sighted that I can't even hear someone talk without my glasses cuz I can't see their mouths I guess.

E. I didn't want children. Never like babies and I never wanted to get married. I had my whole life planned out and life happened but the bright spot is my best friend is an 80 something year old super woman who achieved all the things I had set for myself. We share our lives in a sorta symbiotic way. If I coulda picked out my Mom, she would be my Mom (and she is).

F. I have never felt more love in my life than I feel with you. You don't know how you have saved me from myself. Your comments, your kindness, your blogs, thoughts and prayers are what make it possible for me to get through most days. I am such a manic personality now days, not always the case, but you have been my tether to real and I appreciate all of you. I am blessed.



I left my days of being a Christian Educator behind me many years ago but wisdom is wisdom. Genesis 12:12...."you are blessed to be a blessing" and my friends you are.

These are the lovelies I have picked to receive the Sunshine Award:

Danni http://thewhimsicalcottage.blogspot.com/

Mary http://avalonyearning.blogspot.com/
Tracy http://witchpathtotake.blogspot.com/
Lyon http://wanderinghearth.blogspot.com/
Nydia http://bringingupsalamanders.blogspot.com/
Judy http://judy-judysphotos.blogspot.com/
Cinner http://memyfourchinsandi.blogspot.com/
My New Mexican neighbor http://tsimajo.blogspot.com/
Davine http://53buddhas.blogspot.com/

If any of the others of you would like to add this award to you blog and I haven't mentioned you, Please feel free to jump right in. I'd love to know more about each of you. Once again, thanks Marlene for the opportunity.

Another lovely day in the neighborhood

On my travels thru Blogatropia every morning, I often find lovely ideas to try....crafts, food, thoughts to ponder and my favorites are the funny posts that make me forget about things like cleaning (which makes ya ugly and I can't take too many more chances with that), fixing, laundry, responsibilities and such manner of foolishness.



I would start a list of humor inducers but then it would mean I have to do one of those link things and right now all I feel like doing is typing. But you funny ladies know who you are cuz I don't miss an opportunity to tell ya that I love ya. And some of you are hilarious and strange thinkers and my buds.


And then there are those of you who like myself, tend to step off into the deep water of what the hell and tell us about it, blow by blow. I love you best of all.


Recently, I let a know it all upset me. Okay so maybe that person does know a lot, but not all. When I worked with teenagers, a million years ago when dinosaurs roamed the earth and me and my mate Ugh, that's his name were sharing a cave.....nevermind. When I worked with the kids, they would say....and "we were all, he was all, or she was all". I used to tease them and say, now I know you can be some but you can't be all. They didn't laugh much. Only gave me one of those eat sh*t and die looks. You know how fun loving teenagers are as a group.


I have read heart ache, grief, frustration, pain, hurt, and old fashioned irk from some of you lovelies and never thought any different of you. As a matter of fact, I felt amazingly honored that you shared with me. I like real people. I like people who have hutzpah. I also have seen some of you quietly delete the rants and go on like nothing happened. Good for you.


I on the other hand am a nut case and had to apologize for my ugliness because I am so filled with guilt. I would say sorry for my sorry if it didn't make me look like a bigger idiot. I would have just left it alone were it not for being so overcome with life right now. I am not making an excuse for myself but I didn't really think that the loss of my Willow would have eaten my brain and warped my heart. I am feeling so lost without her. And I know it is not just her although I miss her sweet slobbery furbaby kisses but what she symbolized in my life. When my grandkids left here and moved to SC I had Mr. Murphy my other Saint and thought he needed a buddy cuz he and I both were at a loss without the grands. Willow was the sweetheart that filled both of our lives. Mr. Murphy loved her and doted on her like he had the grandkids. She had such a sweet nature and took all the bossing around he handed out. When I had to put him down less than two years ago (he had a deteriorating eye disease and had bit someone), he also was a young dog. Willow and I grieved for him.


Now in less than two years, I have neither of them and I am not handling it very well. I have shared with you before that I have no transportation during the week because Joe and Shelley need our cars to get to work, so that has left me here to face the empty house and all the memories. I know I need to get out of here and get on with healing. It's only been a week and I am putting alot of pressure on myself to be better right away for the family. It ain't happening. So excuse my edginess and weepiness and sorrow. I'll be back to being the bitchy shark monster I am at some point in time but I have lost all my steam.


I'm out here reading, appreciating all of you and letting the universe heal me but it's one of those give it to me now kinda things...no patience with myself or others. So to the know it alls of the world ...thhhhhhhh. That's me sticking my tongue out. How do you spell that sound anyway?

Impulse control or the lack there of

My birthday twin, grandson and I share much more than our birthdates. He has impulse problems and so do I.

Yesterday I was overcome with angst on many levels and someone's post sent me over the edge.

It's a crappy feeling (I am getting motion sickness from the up and down) to be out of control, but no one should have to suffer my insanity and rants. So if you unfortunately read yesterdays post on OBNSS, my other blog.....nevermind.

I do apologize to them's that need it.

I have a friend who could use your love

I started this blog because I wanted to separate my "bitchin" from my storytelling....sometimes I have succeeded other times....uh not so much.

This time my post is for a dear friend. She would hate it if I said who she is so we will skip that part and move on to why I am posting about her situation.
1. She is a good hearted, giving, funny, smart, talented lady
2. She has adorable grandchildren and loves them dearly
3. Her life, like so many of us has been not exactly what you would call perfect, but blessed at any rate
4. She has helped her children out of sticky situations, including lending them money, helping them purchase large item tickets for which they could not qualify and being there, supporting them

Okay that's the background of my friend. Now this is why I am asking you to send the most loving, concentrated thoughts you possibly can to her, prayers, lighting candles, whatever it is that you do, do it.

One of her children has turned on her. The one, of course, that she has helped the most. This child has left my friend holding the bag on fines (for driving and other infringements of the law) in excess of $12,000.00 dollars. This is because only my friends name is on the car registration. Has left her with credit card debt, this child person has gone out of the way to malign and trash my friend to any and all that would listen, be they friends, family, facebook contacts, blogging folks. The ugliest and meanest thing of all is that...this child has told the grandchildren that they may not ever see my friend again. One of the grandchildren told my friend this in a phone call. Her heart is breaking.

Needless to say you and I are not going to be able to solve this hellacious problem, nor do any of us have the answer to this awful dilemna. We can all hope that the situation defuses but.....how do you go back to normality with someone who would stoop to this level of deceit, contempt and abuse both to my friend and to her granchildren. These kids were the stars in her heaven.

Please lovelies, you have been so very good to me and compared to this situation....I have nothing ever to complain about.....give my friend all the good juju you have. I would be having a hell of a time just raising my head off of the pillow after this betrayal. She is holding on but just by the ends of her fingers.

Thanks so much for listening and being the good people you are.

Happy Spring to you

Thank you all for your kind and thoughtful words. What a blessing to have you in my life.

I know you all know how I felt about my Willow but I didn't know how  attached Odin (Shelley's dog) had gotten to her until last night. He was just pacing. Going to the door, looking and coming back to me. He wouldn't settle down until I got out her collar, adjusted it to fit him and put it on him.

He curled up on the chair and went to sleep. I guess he needed to smell her close to him.

We just sorta held each other this morning, as he sat up on my lap staring into my eyes. "It's gonna be okay", I told he and I.

We took her meds, leashes, toys, collars, bandanas and assorted things back to the clinic to a young woman whose aunt is the head of the St. Bernard rescue here. They are caring for a litter of 10 Saint puppies who are only 5 weeks old and already are suffering from seizures from Attison's disease, an adrenaline disorder. They can use all of Fat Elvis' meds for the puppies. It's that "all things come together" kinda thing. We had a need, it was met with love, they have a need, we gave what we had. The universe once again put us all where we needed to be at the right time for the right reason.

I would feel more blessed but the sorrow is kinda getting in the way at the moment. I know I made the right and only decision that was appropriate for Willow and us but the emptiness will take time to fill in. You know it, I know it, the universe will provide the filling in stuff......in time.

It's snowing here this morning, she's chasing all the snowflakes on the other side, I can only cry.

And so she's gone.....

My lovely white faced furry baby left this world today. She and I knew it was time for her to go but we let the other humans in the house keep us going on with the medication and the episodic seizures. Last night she couldn't catch her breath and after the seizure she looked up at me and I knew I should get a good night's sleep for the decision I had made.

We have a vet who came to the house, housecalls, what a concept. Anyway, we love Barb. I called her this morning to ask if she could meet me at one of the clinics she subs for vets on vacation and sure enough she was working at one 2 minutes from here.

Willow said her goodbyes to the grands, to SM and Shelley and she and I had our last car ride together.

Thanks for all your support during our "thinking" time.

She is now running and playing with her brother Murphy, just waiting for us to join them. I am at peace with letting her go but will grieve deeply for a life cut way too short by and unseen and unexpected something.

Rest in peace my Fat Elvis, my Large Marge, my mena, mena, Willowmena, my bestest and sweetest. I will miss your sweet face and gentle manner......the whole family will.

The perfect storm

My lovely daughter who went to school to be a music teacher, left college and went to work in banking, mortgaging actually. Then out of desperation while living in South Carolina went to work as a pharmacy tech, she is now waiting tables in a hole in the wall diner owned by friends. All of these decisions were made for "reasons". We all have our reasons which sometimes are hasty decisions, sometimes all that can be done at the time and sometimes out of necessity. This job was here before she arrived from SC, it allows her to be with her kids after school, most days and she thought the work environment would be great because the owners and their kids were her friends.

I know all of you are sitting out there thinking, oh boy. And you would be 100% correct.

Monday, Shelley aksed her boss if she could come in for the later shift today because RyLeigh had the opportunity to get another counseling session in at 7:45 this morning. Now normally, there are only 2 wait staff at a time and for some reason on Thurs, her boss M, has all 4 of the wait staff scheduled.....we don't know why, but it is his restaurant and there ya go. After giving her a hard time about asking to be able to take Ry to the counselor, he then proceeded to give her his thoughts on her mothering technique.

No, I am not kidding. He told her all this counseling crap was just that crap. That she was wasting her time and energy. And that all Ry needed was a good spanking in order to get him on the right track. Asked if, since she had no male influence in Ry's life (what does he think Sweet Man is, a fig newton of our imagination?) Shelley wanted him to have some time with Ry to straighten him out. He then used his own kids as shining examples of "good kids". Yep, they are good enough to come to work every Saturday and sit in a 6 x 6 room and have to be quiet and not come out, even to go to the bathroom all day. They are good enough to be scared of him, just like their mother is. They are good enough to spend every school holiday, summer vacation and any sick day in that same room. Mom, S has to come to the diner to wash dishes and do set ups as soon as she gets them to school each day and can't leave until the last customer leaves at 2.....whatever, even if the kids are waiting for her on the play ground. No one else can look after the kids except his wife. When the family goes on vacation, they go to Las Vegas. The kids stay in the room with the hotel sitter's (huh? how come they can have a sitter in LV?) and M & S go gambling. Oh I am sure they let the kids swim and what not but......really?

Shelley has come from an over controlling, jealous situation in SC and now is living it in her job here too. She still deals daily with her estranged husband the nutjob who tries to control from far far away. So you add that with who she works for....yeowy, she's hanging by a thread.

This man does not like that she has regular customers who give her a hug or tease her or tip her really well. He says that she can't be friendly to people because you never know. He is a control freak. Has a Napoleonic complex and needs to be slapped down a few pegs. Just my opinion. Don't get my Irish up or my Mexican either. This man has crossed the line between friendship, employer, and jealous man so many times he isn't sure what he is doing but wants to control it all.

She is my daughter, how in the heck could she ever be anything but friendly? When she was growing up she would roll her eyes every time I started up a conversation with a stranger in a check out line or on the bus or at the mall. Always made fun of the fact that I never meet a stranger and now the nut fell from the tree and is the same. That's how she makes excellent tips in a crap job. She is hard working, responsive, respectful, caring, and funny. And this idiot of a boss is trying to control that so he feels better. Doesn't he understand that they have repeat customers and loyal ones too, not only because of the food he prepares, but because Shelley is damn good at her job. There is no respect or regard on his part.

This is a horrible situation. Shelley needs to quit this job and find a new one.
But she is afraid she won't find anything else where she can be with the kids as much. I keep telling her. "it ain't worth it". But she is their Mom and wants that time. 

I am not going to use the fact that his heritage is from another country to explain or excuse his behavior. And I also must add that you never know who someone is until you spend hours, daily with then. I am going to tell you that I am so pissed, I am having a really hard time not telling this bone head what I think of his parenting model, business practices or of him as a man of very little worth. This could be one of those situations where every thing falls in place at the right/wrong time and I hope they have computer time in prison for the inmates.

It's no good

This is a hard place to be. I don't like to complain, yeah I do, I just thought I'd say that so I didn't sound like the bitch and moan artist I really am.

Let's do the good new first and then that way if you want to quit reading, at least you got the good stuff. I'm alive. I can still get myself around, most of the time. I have my family close by. I have just about everything I could possibly want.....well that's a bit much, but I have most of what I need. There ya go. I am grateful for being who I am, where I am, how I am and how I can love other people. I am grateful that most of the time my sense of humor and smart aleck nature get me by.

The grandkids and daughter are making progress in their counseling. The flip side of counseling....if you haven't ever been good to yourself and gone....is that sometimes like a rubber band, if you stretch one way (growth, positive) then you snap back (processing and acting out, negative). Well our rubber bands are popping like mad. Good/Bad. Uncomforable sometimes but well worth the effort. Yeah our team.

Sweet Man has had a lot of interviews for jobs. Keep you fingers crossed, hell cross your eyes, legs whatever you can.

I got some of my captured mermaids listed on Etsy. http://omalinda.etsy.com/ Got some stuff listed for Ebay which will begin on Wednesday.

All good stuff.

Willow started another series or clusters of seizures. These are different. She now walks "dumb footed". That means she hits the top of her front feet on the ground before she flips it and hits the pads. Her personality is changing with everyone of these gawd awful things. It is taking longer for her to recognize us. These are all indicators of a brain disorder.

The answer may be closer than I want it to be. I clean up oceans of pee every morning from the tile floor, have cleaned the carpet in the computer room too many times to be good for the carpet, me or the wood floor underneath. She is huge, I can't move her or comfort her by getting down on the floor anymore. And she demanding (you should hear her talk to me all growly and vocal and addicted to her meds). Honest, she can tell time now and let's you know when it is time for her next dose. But she is still my baby dog and I love my furry baby with all my heart.

I had to put down a perfectly healthy male St. Bernard less than 2 years ago because he was aggresive to a nut case who screamed when she saw him and he bit her out of protection for me and fright on his part. He and Willow were like fric and frac. I still can't look at pictures of my Murphy because I feel so incredibly guilty and sad. And now???? Again???? Really?????

I don't have any right to bitch when there are those of you out there who have lost parents, friends, mobility, jobs, housing but I am so not able to make the decision I know is coming and just had to vent. Forgive my self centered rant. Grant me just a bit of slack in the rope I need to hang myself.

Gone from here for awhile but......................

This is one of those....gotta get my shitee all in one pile kinda things. I will continue to post here as the insanity dictates, but I am doing the telling tales thing at http://lindaomasoldebaggsnstuftshirts.blogspot.com/

I don't think some of you knew I had another normal people blog, well maybe that's stretching it a bit, normal and all.

I also have an art display site which I am in process on. I am doing mermaid environments and other mermaidish thingies so if ya want to take a look.....
http://practicallymagickal.blogspot.com/

And I also will have my etsy shop up and running on Wednesday of this week at http://omalinda.etsy.com/